God will provide

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Sun Oct 29, 2017 8:40 pm

Pathan asked a sardar ji; Yeh shadi ke jorey kaha(n) bantey hai(n)?
Sardar ji: Aasman par.
Pathan: Uff khudaya, yeh mai kia kar daali, mai(n) ne kapda darzi ko dey diya.

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Sun Oct 29, 2017 8:49 pm

In room # 1 of mental hospital, all were dancing except one sitting silently in a corner watching others dancing. All of sudden doctor came in and saw him sitting silently and sober. Doctor thought he is cured and asked that mental,
son why are you not dancing?
The mental replied; Shut up stupid. I am bridegroom and they are dancing in my marriage party.

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Sun Oct 29, 2017 8:59 pm

A person first time fast in his life. The day was hot and it was unbearable for him. He was tired and thirsty. He made an emergency call to hospital.
Operator: What can I do for you.
Person: Please help me, I want to hear the Azan of Mughreb immediately.
Operator: How come?
Person : Turn on the Azan on tape recorder.

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:07 pm

In Peshawar a Pathan went to see doctor and ask him for weight loss.
Doctor: You walk about 4/5 miles daily.
After one year the doctor received a call from Afghanistan of that Pathan. Doctor recognized him and asked him, how was he doing.
Pathan replied: Doctor according to your advice I walked 5 miles daily now I am at border of Tajikistan. Do you want me to walk further or I shall stop there?

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:12 pm

Pathan Riksha waley se puchha: Station janey ka kitna lega?
Riksha driver: 100 rupiya ley ga.
Pathan: Bhai 50 ley lo.
Riksha driver: Itney me koun ley kar jaiga.
Pathan: khudai khuwar, peechhey baitho, hum ley jaiga.

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 1:42 pm

Ku(n)wara (unmarried):
TAQDEER HAI MAGAR QISMAT NAHI KHULTI
TAJ MAHAL BANANA CHAHITA HU(N) MAGAR MUMTAZ NAHI MILTI

Ashiq (lover):
TAQDEER HAI MAGAR QISMAT NAHI KHULTI
MUMTAZ MIL GAI HAI MAGAR SHAADI NAHI KARTI

SHAADI SHUDAH (MARRIED):
TAQDEER HAI MAGAR QISMAT NAHI KHULTI
TAJ MAHAL BANANA CHAHITA HU(N) MAGAR MUMTAZ NAHI MARTI

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Sat Nov 04, 2017 1:49 pm

UMAR BHAR GALIB YEH BHOOL KARTA RAHA
DHOOL CHAHREY PE THI AUR AAINA SAAF KARTA RAHA

Mirza Galib

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Thu Nov 09, 2017 9:17 pm

BIWI SE ZINDAGI BUNTI HAI JANAT BHI AUR JAHNAM BHI
YE SHAADI APNI FITRAT ME(N) NOORI NAHI PAR NARI HAI

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Thu Nov 09, 2017 9:21 pm

Biwi: Suna hai janat me(n) shohar ko biwi ke saath nahi rahney de(n) ge.
Shohar: Sahi suna hai.
Biwi: Aisa kiyu(n) kar.
Shohar: Pagli, iss liye tou ussey janat kahtey hai(n).

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Thu Nov 09, 2017 9:25 pm

Biwi: Allah ka shukar hai, aap khairiyat se ghar pahunch gai.
Shohar: Kiyu(n) kia hua?
Biwi: Bahir laud speaker par ailaan ho raha tha ke eek pagal gattar me gir gaya hai.

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Thu Nov 09, 2017 9:35 pm

Masjid me dou buzurg batee(n) kar rahey the.
Eek ne dusrey se puchha; Hazrat aap kis ke mureed hai(n)?
Dusira buzurg bola; mai(n) wuzu ke bighair apney murshid ka naam nahi le sakta.
Masjid me dusrey log bhi the. Subb intizaar karney lage.
Buzurg ne pahley wuzu kia, phir dou rak'at namaz parhi, du'a maangi, phir roney laga.
Roney se farig hokar buzurg ne intahai 'aqeedat se kaha;
Mai(n) apni biwi ka mureed hu(n).
Subb moujud log kahney lagey; Masha Allah aap tou hamarey pir bhai nikley.

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Thu Nov 09, 2017 9:37 pm

Judge: “Why did you steal the car?”

Man: “I had to get to work.”

Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?”

Man: I don’t have a driver’s license for the bus.

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Thu Nov 09, 2017 9:47 pm

Eek aadmi ko Ala din ka chirag mil gaya. Ussey raghra tou eek jinn namudaar hua.
Jinn bola; Kiya hukum hai Aqa?
Aadmi: Pakistan se America tak eek sarak bana dou.
Jinn: Bahut mushkil hai Aqa, koi aasan kaam bataou.
Aadmi: Achha tou meri biwi ko mera farman bardar bana dou.
Jinn: Aqa aap bolei(n), sarak single line banani hai ya double line.

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Sun Nov 26, 2017 8:57 pm

First person: Yesterday I was beaten up by 10 goons at a time.
Second person: Then what you did?
First: I told them shame on you, come one by one.
Second: Then what happened?
First: Took a deep sigh and said, then one by one they started beating me again.

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:01 pm

Judge: Phaansi se pahley teri aakhiri khuwaish kia hai?

Mujrim: Mera sir neechey aour pair upper karkey, pairu(n) mey rasa bhandh kar phaansi di jai.

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:04 pm

Mother to her 7 years old son;
Mother: Go son hug and kiss this aunti.
Son: No mama, if I hug and kiss her she can slap me as she did with daddy.

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:10 pm

Bus mey eek teacher khari thi.
Saath wali seat se eek bacha utha aur kaha, Madam aap yaha(n) baith jao.
Teacher ney ussey chanta dey mara.
Bucchey ne kaha bhallai ka zamana nahi hai aur wapis baap ki ghodh mey baith gaya.

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:17 pm

Eek bacha apney friend ko kahta hai; Patta hai, meri mummy kahti hai bhains ka dudh peeney se damaag tez hotta hai.
Dusra bacha: Teri mummy mazak karti hogi. Agar aisa hotta to bhains ka bacha engineer ya doctor hotta.

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:21 pm

PREET NA KIJIO PUNCHHI JAISI
JO JAL SUKHEY URR JAAWEY
PREET KIJIO MACHHLI JAISI
JO JAL SUKHEY MAR JAAWEY

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:26 pm

KHUDA PUCHHEY GA MAHSHAR MEY
SATAYA TUJH KO KIS KIS NEY
MAI(N) ISHAAREY SE KAH DU(N) GI
KE SAMINEY SARKAR BAITHEY HAI(N)

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:12 pm

LIVING IS LOVING
LOVING IS CARING
CARING IS SHARING
SHARING IS LIVING

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:20 pm

DROP A PEBBLE IN THE WATER
AND ITS RIPPLES REACH OUT FAR
AND THE SUNBEAMS DANCING ON THEM
MAY REFLECT THEM TO A STAR

GIVE A SMILE TO SOMEONE PASSING
THERE BY MAKING HIS MORNING GLAD
IT MAY GREET YOU IN THE EVENING
WHEN YOUR OWN HEART MAY BE SAD

DO A DEED OF SIMPLE KINDNESS
THOUGH ITS END YOU MAY NOT SEE
IT MAY REACH LIKE WIDENING RIPPLES
DOWN A LONG ETERNITY

BY: JOSEPH NORRIS

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:31 pm

WHERE THERE IS LOVE THE HEART IS LIGHT
WHERE THERE IS LOVE THE DAY IS BRIGHT
WHERE THERE IS LOVE THERE IS A SONG
TO HELP WHEN THINGS ARE GOING WRONG

WHERE THERE IS LOVE THERE IS A SMILE
TO MAKE ALL THINGS SEEM MORE WORTHWHILE
WHERE THERE IS LOVE THERE IS QUITE PEACE
A TRANQUIL PLACE WHERE TURMOILS CEASE

LOVE CHANGES DARKNESS INTO LIGHT
MAKES THE HEART TAKE WINGLESS FLIGHT
BLESSED ARE THEY WHO WALK IN LOVE
THEY ARE THE ONES WALK WITH GOD ABOVE

BY: HELEN RICE

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Mon Dec 11, 2017 10:41 pm

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in a village wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives and their families.

Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate. Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sit calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit. Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?" The man says, "Yep, sure do."

Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."

Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Tue Dec 19, 2017 11:12 pm

Wife: I want in Karachi some colony or chourangi (cross road) should carry my name.
Husband: Why not. Already couple of spots carry your name.
Wife: Happily which one, where are they?
Husband: Naagin (snake) chourangi and Bhe(n)ce (buffalo) colony.

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Tue Dec 19, 2017 11:16 pm

Aji suntey ho se ley kar
Kia bahrey ho gai ho
Ke ruhani safar ko
Shaadi kahtey hai(n).

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Tue Dec 19, 2017 11:18 pm

Aurat ki Zabaan ouur mard ki Aa(n)kh ko aaraam marney ke baid milta hai.

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Tue Dec 19, 2017 11:22 pm

Shaadi (marriage) kiya hoti hai yeh samajhney ke liye eek sciencedaan ney shaadi kar li.
Abb uss ko yeh samajh nahi aa rahi ke science kiya hai.

shivaathervedi · Post by **shivaathervedi** » Tue Dec 19, 2017 11:25 pm

ZEEST KA EEK OUUR BAAB KHATAM HUA
SHABAAB KHATAM HUA AZAAB KHATAM HUA

Munir Niazi

shivaathervedi_2 · Post by **shivaathervedi_2** » Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:40 pm

Trump and Nawaz were flying in an airplane.
Trump said, if I drop 10 million dollars down from plane, 10 million people will pray for me.

Nawaz said, if I resign from politics 200 millions will pray for me.

Pilot of plane said, if I drop plane the world will pray for me.