Forgiveness
Forgiveness
how do we ask for forgiveness of our sins.. lies, stealing, cheating, is there any way to ask for forgiveness? a prayer? beg for forgiveness?
-
zubair_mahamood
- Posts: 238
- Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 6:12 pm
- Contact:
Ya Ali Madad,kmaherali wrote:Seek forgiveness from the person that is harmed first and then seek forgiveness from God.
There has been an extended discussion on fogiveness under:
Inspiration --> Learn to Forgvr
Yes this in Quran and there is also a Famous hadiths of Prophet Muhammad about what you r telling….. They are some gunnas (sins) that happens unintentionally which as a human we can’t forgive ourselves…. Do u have any idea how to get ourselves pure in such a situation….. How do v forgive ourselves. How do we know that Allah has forgiven us….
Thanks
Zubair
Verily, ALLAH accepts the repentance of only those who do evil in ignorance and then repent soon after. These are they to whom ALLAH turns with mercy; and ALLAH is All-Knowing, Wise. There is no acceptance of repentance for those who continue to do evil until, when death faces one of them, he says, I do indeed repent now; nor for those who die disbelievers. It is these for whom WE have prepared a painful punishment. -[Quran, Surah 4:17-18]
-
zubair_mahamood
- Posts: 238
- Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 6:12 pm
- Contact:
I have read this before but it doesn’t answer my question? How can a man forgive himself? Its just he expect forgiveness. May be some of u have gown to this situation when u feel guilty for some mistake which was not intended and this feeling of guilt become waste part of life, it feels like u are in hell fire, when ever u feel it u feel u r the worst creature…. Ho w to overcome this felling permanently.razinizar wrote: Verily, ALLAH accepts the repentance of only those who do evil in ignorance and then repent soon after. These are they to whom ALLAH turns with mercy; and ALLAH is All-Knowing, Wise. There is no acceptance of repentance for those who continue to do evil until, when death faces one of them, he says, I do indeed repent now; nor for those who die disbelievers. It is these for whom WE have prepared a painful punishment. -[Quran, Surah 4:17-18]
I also came across this
“According to The Commander of The Faithful, Mawalana ‘Ali, There are three persons whose deeds are not recorded by Kiraman Katibin (the honourable scribes, i.e. the angles who record the deeds of people): the minor, the insane and the person who is asleep. The reason for this is that they do not have any choice. Thus what man does or says in a dream is beyond his control, because now he does not have any choice.”
As our faith is apparent and hidden, then what is state of Minor, Insane, and the person who is asleep? If I look Minor may also mean spiritually Minor like one who has low level of faith, insane may also me person who has not yet mentally stable to understand faith, and a person who is asleep may mean a person who has not yet recognise Imam……
How do we know all this…..?
Ya Ali Zubair..
This may not answer your question but it's an interesting read.
Daily forgiveness
"As long as you don't forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy rent-free space in your mind."
-- Isabelle Holland
We cannot avoid daily resentment and thoughts of guilt. They are a part of human nature. What we can do is release their grip on us. We can forgive others and ourselves daily.
Forgiveness requires nothing in return. There are no conditions. It gets rid of old baggage and clears up unfinished business. It leads us to a life of authenticity, lightness and directness. Forgiveness is the highest form of letting go of resentment and ego.
True forgiveness is more than an apology, understanding and acceptance. There is an element of recreating and re-imagining. There is a need to envision ourselves as more loving, interdependent, courageous and compassionate. Forgiveness requires honouring the sacred journey of learning about life - our life and others'.
"Whatever we have done, we can always make amends for it without ever looking back in guilt or sorrow."
-- Eknath Easwaran
This may not answer your question but it's an interesting read.
Daily forgiveness
"As long as you don't forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy rent-free space in your mind."
-- Isabelle Holland
We cannot avoid daily resentment and thoughts of guilt. They are a part of human nature. What we can do is release their grip on us. We can forgive others and ourselves daily.
Forgiveness requires nothing in return. There are no conditions. It gets rid of old baggage and clears up unfinished business. It leads us to a life of authenticity, lightness and directness. Forgiveness is the highest form of letting go of resentment and ego.
True forgiveness is more than an apology, understanding and acceptance. There is an element of recreating and re-imagining. There is a need to envision ourselves as more loving, interdependent, courageous and compassionate. Forgiveness requires honouring the sacred journey of learning about life - our life and others'.
"Whatever we have done, we can always make amends for it without ever looking back in guilt or sorrow."
-- Eknath Easwaran
-
zubair_mahamood
- Posts: 238
- Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 6:12 pm
- Contact:
Ya Ali Madaad,
Thanks rooh for the words and also to samerziz for bring up this topic. I am actually born and bought up in a Sunni family cause of a spiritual experience with Hazar Imam two years back I am living as an Ismaili. My case for is pending with tariqah board for some reasons which leave me Jamatkhana virgin. I have knowledge of Ismaili concepts but my perception of Quran is still accordance with sunni belief, A reason for this is I don’t have any Ismaili friend or i dont have any Ismaili person around me to explain, when I was wondering a sister advise me to check Forum which has helped me alot. When I was following Sunni faith I had all answers to any question after my spiritual experience with Hazar Imam I had to look life in two different ways, i know one side but ismaili side is hidden.
It’s been months I have attained any religious lecture, I use to go to masjid for knowledge but I have stopped doing that as it hurting my basic believe and I feel masjid don’t belong to me, my place is in Jamat Khana.
I did an unintentional mistake few months back for that I am looking solution. I don’t believe in Allah’s punishment, I believe it’s just a Test. I will explain why I believe so. There is a famous Hadith of Prophet Muhammad in which he says Allah loves u more than 70 mothers and I also read a Farman of Imam SMS that Allah loves u more than 100 mothers. My mother is with Allah, If I take this Hadith and Farman into consideration about mother’s love, My mother had never punish me for any mistake I did as she loves me very much, If I did any mistake she helped to overcome my weakness but didn’t punish me so how can Allah who loves us more than a mother will punish us.
Recently I went to a church with some friend after seen a Confession Box I felt if I were Christian I would have confess but I can’t do that. I feel breaking trust is a biggest sin and I did that unintentional, whenever I think of that I feel fire in my heart and I pray to Allah for forgiveness. I am lucky as I live in Paris when my patient go be on control I come across Hazar Imam in Zahar or batine with his will which help me to overcome my pain. I am still waiting for the day when I will be officially accepted by board and will get permission to attend Jamatkhana until then I need help. If anyone was in my shoe or anyone who can advise me how to forgive ourselves it will be a help, you can also write me at [email protected]
Thanks
Shah Je Dedaar
Zubair Mahamood
Thanks rooh for the words and also to samerziz for bring up this topic. I am actually born and bought up in a Sunni family cause of a spiritual experience with Hazar Imam two years back I am living as an Ismaili. My case for is pending with tariqah board for some reasons which leave me Jamatkhana virgin. I have knowledge of Ismaili concepts but my perception of Quran is still accordance with sunni belief, A reason for this is I don’t have any Ismaili friend or i dont have any Ismaili person around me to explain, when I was wondering a sister advise me to check Forum which has helped me alot. When I was following Sunni faith I had all answers to any question after my spiritual experience with Hazar Imam I had to look life in two different ways, i know one side but ismaili side is hidden.
It’s been months I have attained any religious lecture, I use to go to masjid for knowledge but I have stopped doing that as it hurting my basic believe and I feel masjid don’t belong to me, my place is in Jamat Khana.
I did an unintentional mistake few months back for that I am looking solution. I don’t believe in Allah’s punishment, I believe it’s just a Test. I will explain why I believe so. There is a famous Hadith of Prophet Muhammad in which he says Allah loves u more than 70 mothers and I also read a Farman of Imam SMS that Allah loves u more than 100 mothers. My mother is with Allah, If I take this Hadith and Farman into consideration about mother’s love, My mother had never punish me for any mistake I did as she loves me very much, If I did any mistake she helped to overcome my weakness but didn’t punish me so how can Allah who loves us more than a mother will punish us.
Recently I went to a church with some friend after seen a Confession Box I felt if I were Christian I would have confess but I can’t do that. I feel breaking trust is a biggest sin and I did that unintentional, whenever I think of that I feel fire in my heart and I pray to Allah for forgiveness. I am lucky as I live in Paris when my patient go be on control I come across Hazar Imam in Zahar or batine with his will which help me to overcome my pain. I am still waiting for the day when I will be officially accepted by board and will get permission to attend Jamatkhana until then I need help. If anyone was in my shoe or anyone who can advise me how to forgive ourselves it will be a help, you can also write me at [email protected]
Thanks
Shah Je Dedaar
Zubair Mahamood
Last edited by zubair_mahamood on Wed Nov 07, 2007 1:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
Ya Ali Madad Zubair..
I have been following your story through other forums. It is great that you have passion for knowing our Faith.
Our Faith is batini faith. Have faith in Mawla that He knows your intentions. Regardless of whatever religion you practice, the basic notion of forgiveness doesnot change. All faiths practice the notion to forgive and forget. Only Allah is the judge of our sins and its consequence. We can only be humble to recognize our mistakes and beg for forgiveness. If you have harmed another person, then Mawla has guided us to go upto that person, admit our mistake and ask for forgiveness. Allow yourself to have Faith in Mawla and let go of the feelings of guilt and emotions. Beg for forgivenss and promise never to do that again. Only Mawla can determine the consequence. So,dont torture yourself and move on. Forgive yourself and forgive the world. Have a clean heart & soul. That is one of the basic notions of our Faith.
About you waiting to be an official Ismaili.. If you have the love and the faith for Mawla, then it will lead you to the right path when and how He wants and decides. Submit yourself in the love for Him. Follow the basic principles of Islam of brotherhood, generosity, kindness, unity. Accept things as they are. He will do the best for you. He will give you when You are ready. When your soul is ready. So work on purification of your soul by keeping your heart and actions clean. Inshallah, just as Salman Farsi found his way, and was blessed, you will have your time too. Inshallah.
Yali.
I have been following your story through other forums. It is great that you have passion for knowing our Faith.
Our Faith is batini faith. Have faith in Mawla that He knows your intentions. Regardless of whatever religion you practice, the basic notion of forgiveness doesnot change. All faiths practice the notion to forgive and forget. Only Allah is the judge of our sins and its consequence. We can only be humble to recognize our mistakes and beg for forgiveness. If you have harmed another person, then Mawla has guided us to go upto that person, admit our mistake and ask for forgiveness. Allow yourself to have Faith in Mawla and let go of the feelings of guilt and emotions. Beg for forgivenss and promise never to do that again. Only Mawla can determine the consequence. So,dont torture yourself and move on. Forgive yourself and forgive the world. Have a clean heart & soul. That is one of the basic notions of our Faith.
About you waiting to be an official Ismaili.. If you have the love and the faith for Mawla, then it will lead you to the right path when and how He wants and decides. Submit yourself in the love for Him. Follow the basic principles of Islam of brotherhood, generosity, kindness, unity. Accept things as they are. He will do the best for you. He will give you when You are ready. When your soul is ready. So work on purification of your soul by keeping your heart and actions clean. Inshallah, just as Salman Farsi found his way, and was blessed, you will have your time too. Inshallah.
Yali.
Ya Ali Madad Zubair..
I have been following your story through other forums. It is great that you have passion for knowing our Faith.
Our Faith is batini faith. Have faith in Mawla that He knows your intentions. Regardless of whatever religion you practice, the basic notion of forgiveness doesnot change. All faiths practice the notion to forgive and forget. Only Allah is the judge of our sins and its consequence. We can only be humble to recognize our mistakes and beg for forgiveness. If you have harmed another person, then Mawla has guided us to go upto that person, admit our mistake and ask for forgiveness. Allow yourself to have Faith in Mawla and let go of the feelings of guilt and emotions. Beg for forgivenss and promise never to do that again. Only Mawla can determine the consequence. So,dont torture yourself and move on. Forgive yourself and forgive the world. Have a clean heart & soul. That is one of the basic notions of our Faith.
About you waiting to be an official Ismaili.. If you have the love and the faith for Mawla, then it will lead you to the right path when and how He wants and decides. Submit yourself in the love for Him. Follow the basic principles of Islam of brotherhood, generosity, kindness, unity. Accept things as they are. He will do the best for you. He will give you when You are ready. When your soul is ready. So work on purification of your heart and keep your actions good. Inshallah, just as Salman Farsi found his way, and was blessed, you will have your time too. Inshallah.
Yali.
I have been following your story through other forums. It is great that you have passion for knowing our Faith.
Our Faith is batini faith. Have faith in Mawla that He knows your intentions. Regardless of whatever religion you practice, the basic notion of forgiveness doesnot change. All faiths practice the notion to forgive and forget. Only Allah is the judge of our sins and its consequence. We can only be humble to recognize our mistakes and beg for forgiveness. If you have harmed another person, then Mawla has guided us to go upto that person, admit our mistake and ask for forgiveness. Allow yourself to have Faith in Mawla and let go of the feelings of guilt and emotions. Beg for forgivenss and promise never to do that again. Only Mawla can determine the consequence. So,dont torture yourself and move on. Forgive yourself and forgive the world. Have a clean heart & soul. That is one of the basic notions of our Faith.
About you waiting to be an official Ismaili.. If you have the love and the faith for Mawla, then it will lead you to the right path when and how He wants and decides. Submit yourself in the love for Him. Follow the basic principles of Islam of brotherhood, generosity, kindness, unity. Accept things as they are. He will do the best for you. He will give you when You are ready. When your soul is ready. So work on purification of your heart and keep your actions good. Inshallah, just as Salman Farsi found his way, and was blessed, you will have your time too. Inshallah.
Yali.
Last edited by rooh on Sun Feb 04, 2007 12:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
-
zubair_mahamood
- Posts: 238
- Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 6:12 pm
- Contact:
Ya Ali madaad rooh,
Thanks rooh
I am an Ismaili cause I have faith in Hazar Imam that it…. I didn’t get it by birth or through books, He gave me through His Holy Dedaar…. I left everything for Mowla… do u think it was easy to forget 24 yrs of once life its almost impossible but I did it only for Mowla… Its not just me but the people who are helping me are facing problems…… a strange incident happened with a Shia friend of mine who went to buy some Ismaili book for me, she was took by surprise with what happened and I have to tell her sorry for what had happened… Ismailies fear me and I am not comfortable with Sunnis…. Patience is the key and believe is my hope…. I understand very well that He gives me when I am capable to take…. When I remind myself of all good things I did I feel delighted at the same time when I think what I did wrong I feel ashamed… I think Mowla gave me this Pain to learn, I think I have learned many things after my mistake Allahamdulila.
Thank you again for being kind with me. May we all see what I have seen by Grace of Allah.
Shah Je Dedaar
Zubair
Thanks rooh
I am an Ismaili cause I have faith in Hazar Imam that it…. I didn’t get it by birth or through books, He gave me through His Holy Dedaar…. I left everything for Mowla… do u think it was easy to forget 24 yrs of once life its almost impossible but I did it only for Mowla… Its not just me but the people who are helping me are facing problems…… a strange incident happened with a Shia friend of mine who went to buy some Ismaili book for me, she was took by surprise with what happened and I have to tell her sorry for what had happened… Ismailies fear me and I am not comfortable with Sunnis…. Patience is the key and believe is my hope…. I understand very well that He gives me when I am capable to take…. When I remind myself of all good things I did I feel delighted at the same time when I think what I did wrong I feel ashamed… I think Mowla gave me this Pain to learn, I think I have learned many things after my mistake Allahamdulila.
Thank you again for being kind with me. May we all see what I have seen by Grace of Allah.
Shah Je Dedaar
Zubair
Incredible story of forgiveness
Kenya attack victim recalls terror
Linda Nguyen and Joel Kom
Canwest News Service; Calgary Herald
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Eloise Bergen was taking a hot bath Wednesday in her Kenyan home when she looked up to see five men, each clutching machetes and clubs in their hands.
"I thought, 'This must be a joke,' so I said, 'Can you please pass me my clothes?' " the 66-year-old former High River resident said in a telephone interview Friday from a Nairobi hospital room after she and her husband John, were violently attacked while working as missionaries.
"They raised their machetes and told me to get out of the tub. They wouldn't give me any clothes."
The men tied her hands and Eloise, naked and dripping wet, was forced to stand up so the men, all local Kenyans in their 20s, could rape her. Three of them did.
The attack lasted a horrifying 45 minutes.
"The tall one was in charge of me. He did everything standing up. He didn't lie me down," Eloise said, her voice composed and unwavering. "I think he thought he could get away faster if we got caught. It was quite painful. Then he handed me over to the two others."
She did not utter a single word except whisper "Jesus" over and over under her breath.
After the men were done, they punched Eloise in her private parts, choked her and cut her with their machetes.
Seven people -- five men and two women -- have been arrested for the brutal attacks. Two of the men taken into custody have been identified as security guards for the Canadians, hired in the last three weeks to protect the couple at night.
Police found loads of the Bergens' belongings in the accuseds' homes, including everything from laptops and cameras to a wall clock and a mosquito net.
Eloise and John, 70, lived in High River for about 10 years before moving to Vernon, B.C., in 2005.
They arrived in Kenya in March to work with the non-profit Christian organization Hope for the Nations, based in Kelowna, B.C.
After the attack, Eloise got up and cut her bonds loose with cosmetic scissors to search for her husband.
Eventually, she found him lying in the bushes, his arms and legs broken. His head slashed by the machetes.
What followed, Eloise said, was "miraculous."
The car she thought the thieves had driven away was still sitting in her driveway. They had crashed it into a tree and fled. The petite Eloise dragged her husband, by then a "dead weight," into the car.
"He kept asking me, 'Are we in Africa? Are we in Africa?' " she said. "My face was pouring blood."
It took her three tries to get the car moving.
Eloise had to ram through the gates surrounding her farm to drive for help, 20 minutes away.
The assailants had struck John's skull, jaw, arm, knee and leg with clubs and cut him so hard that they broke several of his bones. She said John will need to undergo four major surgeries.
Both will need extensive medical procedures to fix their broken jaws.
Despite the ordeal, she and John have no plans to return home to Canada, where their two biological sons and two adopted children are spread throughout Alberta and B.C.
Their youngest son, 20-year-old Josh, will board a plane today with the couple's 18-year-old grandson and arrive in Kenya on Monday.
His family is shaken by what happened, Josh said from Vernon, and he knows there will be disagreement over whether his parents should come home.
"Of course I'd like them to come back because it's safer," he said, "but at the same time, if you want to stay in a country after something like that, there's probably good reasons for doing it."
Steve Pippin, who lives in the same Kenyan village as Eloise and John Bergen and works for the same Christian group, said Eloise showed tremendous strength throughout and after the attack.
"She's an amazingly tough lady for how she dealt with it," he said.
Those with the charity are pleading with the public to help the Bergens cover their hospital costs because the couple has no medical insurance and sold most of their Canadian belongings before leaving. A fund has been set up at the Bank of Montreal.
Eloise said one of the first things she and her husband want to do once they fully recover is to visit their assailants.
"It's in both of our hearts to go to the prison and tell them about our forgiveness," she said.
[email protected]
© The Calgary Herald 2008
Kenya attack victim recalls terror
Linda Nguyen and Joel Kom
Canwest News Service; Calgary Herald
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Eloise Bergen was taking a hot bath Wednesday in her Kenyan home when she looked up to see five men, each clutching machetes and clubs in their hands.
"I thought, 'This must be a joke,' so I said, 'Can you please pass me my clothes?' " the 66-year-old former High River resident said in a telephone interview Friday from a Nairobi hospital room after she and her husband John, were violently attacked while working as missionaries.
"They raised their machetes and told me to get out of the tub. They wouldn't give me any clothes."
The men tied her hands and Eloise, naked and dripping wet, was forced to stand up so the men, all local Kenyans in their 20s, could rape her. Three of them did.
The attack lasted a horrifying 45 minutes.
"The tall one was in charge of me. He did everything standing up. He didn't lie me down," Eloise said, her voice composed and unwavering. "I think he thought he could get away faster if we got caught. It was quite painful. Then he handed me over to the two others."
She did not utter a single word except whisper "Jesus" over and over under her breath.
After the men were done, they punched Eloise in her private parts, choked her and cut her with their machetes.
Seven people -- five men and two women -- have been arrested for the brutal attacks. Two of the men taken into custody have been identified as security guards for the Canadians, hired in the last three weeks to protect the couple at night.
Police found loads of the Bergens' belongings in the accuseds' homes, including everything from laptops and cameras to a wall clock and a mosquito net.
Eloise and John, 70, lived in High River for about 10 years before moving to Vernon, B.C., in 2005.
They arrived in Kenya in March to work with the non-profit Christian organization Hope for the Nations, based in Kelowna, B.C.
After the attack, Eloise got up and cut her bonds loose with cosmetic scissors to search for her husband.
Eventually, she found him lying in the bushes, his arms and legs broken. His head slashed by the machetes.
What followed, Eloise said, was "miraculous."
The car she thought the thieves had driven away was still sitting in her driveway. They had crashed it into a tree and fled. The petite Eloise dragged her husband, by then a "dead weight," into the car.
"He kept asking me, 'Are we in Africa? Are we in Africa?' " she said. "My face was pouring blood."
It took her three tries to get the car moving.
Eloise had to ram through the gates surrounding her farm to drive for help, 20 minutes away.
The assailants had struck John's skull, jaw, arm, knee and leg with clubs and cut him so hard that they broke several of his bones. She said John will need to undergo four major surgeries.
Both will need extensive medical procedures to fix their broken jaws.
Despite the ordeal, she and John have no plans to return home to Canada, where their two biological sons and two adopted children are spread throughout Alberta and B.C.
Their youngest son, 20-year-old Josh, will board a plane today with the couple's 18-year-old grandson and arrive in Kenya on Monday.
His family is shaken by what happened, Josh said from Vernon, and he knows there will be disagreement over whether his parents should come home.
"Of course I'd like them to come back because it's safer," he said, "but at the same time, if you want to stay in a country after something like that, there's probably good reasons for doing it."
Steve Pippin, who lives in the same Kenyan village as Eloise and John Bergen and works for the same Christian group, said Eloise showed tremendous strength throughout and after the attack.
"She's an amazingly tough lady for how she dealt with it," he said.
Those with the charity are pleading with the public to help the Bergens cover their hospital costs because the couple has no medical insurance and sold most of their Canadian belongings before leaving. A fund has been set up at the Bank of Montreal.
Eloise said one of the first things she and her husband want to do once they fully recover is to visit their assailants.
"It's in both of our hearts to go to the prison and tell them about our forgiveness," she said.
[email protected]
© The Calgary Herald 2008
Missionaries receive offers to continue work in Africa
'We have a long road ahead' to recuperate
Michelle Butterfield
Calgary Herald
Monday, August 04, 2008
CREDIT: Lorraine Hjalte, Calgary Herald
John and Eloise Bergen, who returned to Calgary last week after fleeing Kenya, where they were attacked and robbed, update the media on their recovery and future plans.
Two missionaries who were brutally attacked while working in Kenya said they will return to Africa, where they almost lost their lives.
Although they will not return to the country where they were attacked, John and Eloise Bergen are determined to continue their missionary work.
The couple, originally from the Calgary area, are not sure when they will return, due to the long physical healing process, but have already received offers to go back.
"There are, unbelievably, many, many opportunities opening up to us," said John.
Despite arriving in Calgary in wheelchairs last week, John, 70, and Eloise, 66, were walking and smiling as they met with friends and family and spoke to media Sunday afternoon.
"We have a long road ahead of us," said John, talking about the rehabilitation each will undergo over the next months.
On July 9, John was beaten by three men -- including two of the couple's personal bodyguards -- outside of their home on the gated compound in the rural community of Kitale, while Eloise was raped by three men, who then choked and punched her, and cut her with machetes.
John credits his "little lady" for saving his life.
Eloise pulled John from the bushes where he had been left for dead. His arms and legs were broken, as was his jaw. He had been slashed more than 14 times with machetes.
Eloise hoisted John up into their car and drove 20 minutes to the nearest hospital.
"I'm lucky he had given me a refresher driving lesson just that morning," said Eloise.
Despite the horrific injuries inflicted upon them and scars that will last a lifetime, both have forgiven their attackers and want to one day meet them face-to-face.
"I can't wait for the day I can meet them and put my arms around them," said John.
Eloise spent time repeatedly saying the words "I forgive you" in her hospital bed in Kenya.
"I knew just in my mind my words were important for my own ears to hear," she said.
"If we don't forgive, it's like poison in our own systems."
On Friday, John sent an e-mail to the prison where four of the attackers are being held -- the two security guards were released on bail -- and is waiting to hear back about their fate.
He said he is not concerned with their sentencing, but "knows with justice there has to be compassion or judgment."
[email protected]
© The Calgary Herald 2008
'We have a long road ahead' to recuperate
Michelle Butterfield
Calgary Herald
Monday, August 04, 2008
CREDIT: Lorraine Hjalte, Calgary Herald
John and Eloise Bergen, who returned to Calgary last week after fleeing Kenya, where they were attacked and robbed, update the media on their recovery and future plans.
Two missionaries who were brutally attacked while working in Kenya said they will return to Africa, where they almost lost their lives.
Although they will not return to the country where they were attacked, John and Eloise Bergen are determined to continue their missionary work.
The couple, originally from the Calgary area, are not sure when they will return, due to the long physical healing process, but have already received offers to go back.
"There are, unbelievably, many, many opportunities opening up to us," said John.
Despite arriving in Calgary in wheelchairs last week, John, 70, and Eloise, 66, were walking and smiling as they met with friends and family and spoke to media Sunday afternoon.
"We have a long road ahead of us," said John, talking about the rehabilitation each will undergo over the next months.
On July 9, John was beaten by three men -- including two of the couple's personal bodyguards -- outside of their home on the gated compound in the rural community of Kitale, while Eloise was raped by three men, who then choked and punched her, and cut her with machetes.
John credits his "little lady" for saving his life.
Eloise pulled John from the bushes where he had been left for dead. His arms and legs were broken, as was his jaw. He had been slashed more than 14 times with machetes.
Eloise hoisted John up into their car and drove 20 minutes to the nearest hospital.
"I'm lucky he had given me a refresher driving lesson just that morning," said Eloise.
Despite the horrific injuries inflicted upon them and scars that will last a lifetime, both have forgiven their attackers and want to one day meet them face-to-face.
"I can't wait for the day I can meet them and put my arms around them," said John.
Eloise spent time repeatedly saying the words "I forgive you" in her hospital bed in Kenya.
"I knew just in my mind my words were important for my own ears to hear," she said.
"If we don't forgive, it's like poison in our own systems."
On Friday, John sent an e-mail to the prison where four of the attackers are being held -- the two security guards were released on bail -- and is waiting to hear back about their fate.
He said he is not concerned with their sentencing, but "knows with justice there has to be compassion or judgment."
[email protected]
© The Calgary Herald 2008
"Forgive Me, I'm Sorry I Got Caught"
Deepak Chopra
A cynic might say, in the wake of so many adulterous politicians, that in
future they should issue a preemptive confession before running for
President to save The National Enquirer excess ink. Why wait until you are
caught? John Edwards' gotcha moment hasn't stirred much glee, perhaps
because a rich personal-injury lawyer was an unlikely figure to mold into
presidential stature to begin with. On the more humane side, his wife's
illness and Edwards' own political failures create a sense of sadness. They
both deserve sympathy and the right to retreat into the shelter of home,
family, and hopefully a marriage whose wounds will heal. The confession
itself smacked of hypocrisy -- as with other cheating politicians, one
suspects that Edwards is mostly sorry that he got caught. that he would
cheat on a devoted spouse with cancer is best passed over with a cringing
silence.
But the question posed is whether forgiveness can be so difficult that it
stretches religious faith too far. Yes, of course. The most devout Jews are
not expected, required, rewarded, or pressured to forgive the Holocaust.
Such forgiveness would be the same as saintliness. Human nature is
vulnerable. Violence and persecution create wounds in any faith that not
only last but are exacerbated, because for true believers attacking their
faith is the same as attacking God -- an unforgivable affront. The notion
that God is bothered by being attacked seems irrational to someone outside
organized religion, but it is a persistent article of belief and has been
for centuries.
A more probing question, then, would be whether forgiveness and faith are
compatible. Yes again. The devout, like the rest of us, are capable of
holding two contradictory ideas at the same time. As unforgivable as
Christians in the past found it that the Jews crucified Christ (their
perspective, not ours), forgiveness is a primary tenet in Jesus? teachings.
He asks for the most difficult form of forgiveness when it is offered to
one's enemies. How does a Christian bridge the gap between that ideal and
the natural reaction of revenge and resentment? I feel that traditional
Christianity doesn't bridge the gap. Without a shift in consciousness, it's
impossible to clear the psychological slate and forgive deep hurts just
because you aspire to be moral. The imprints made on the psyche by violence
and humiliation, guilt and shame, prejudice and lack of love, are as real as
wounds to the body. The psyche possesses some healing mechanisms that work
-- the passage of time, forgetfulness, the will to forgive, a strong sense
of self, and love. These healing methods, however, have their limits.
Eventually, forgiveness cannot be accessed simply because you want to
forgive. The essence of forgiveness is transcendent -- it lies in a domain
of consciousness where the wound doesn't exist and the wrong never occurred. Whenever we forgive our children and other loved ones, we do so by transcending the normal responses of blame and judgment. To find a larger sense of forgiveness, you have to undertake a journey that leads to this transcendent place inside yourself. Sadly, few people begin the journey with enough knowledge and guidance to arrive at the goal. As Edwards will discover, it's an unforgiving world. But one must be deeply grateful that transcendent forgiveness is real. After all, the day may come when we need it ourselves for our own transgressions.
http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfa ... _caug.html
Deepak Chopra
A cynic might say, in the wake of so many adulterous politicians, that in
future they should issue a preemptive confession before running for
President to save The National Enquirer excess ink. Why wait until you are
caught? John Edwards' gotcha moment hasn't stirred much glee, perhaps
because a rich personal-injury lawyer was an unlikely figure to mold into
presidential stature to begin with. On the more humane side, his wife's
illness and Edwards' own political failures create a sense of sadness. They
both deserve sympathy and the right to retreat into the shelter of home,
family, and hopefully a marriage whose wounds will heal. The confession
itself smacked of hypocrisy -- as with other cheating politicians, one
suspects that Edwards is mostly sorry that he got caught. that he would
cheat on a devoted spouse with cancer is best passed over with a cringing
silence.
But the question posed is whether forgiveness can be so difficult that it
stretches religious faith too far. Yes, of course. The most devout Jews are
not expected, required, rewarded, or pressured to forgive the Holocaust.
Such forgiveness would be the same as saintliness. Human nature is
vulnerable. Violence and persecution create wounds in any faith that not
only last but are exacerbated, because for true believers attacking their
faith is the same as attacking God -- an unforgivable affront. The notion
that God is bothered by being attacked seems irrational to someone outside
organized religion, but it is a persistent article of belief and has been
for centuries.
A more probing question, then, would be whether forgiveness and faith are
compatible. Yes again. The devout, like the rest of us, are capable of
holding two contradictory ideas at the same time. As unforgivable as
Christians in the past found it that the Jews crucified Christ (their
perspective, not ours), forgiveness is a primary tenet in Jesus? teachings.
He asks for the most difficult form of forgiveness when it is offered to
one's enemies. How does a Christian bridge the gap between that ideal and
the natural reaction of revenge and resentment? I feel that traditional
Christianity doesn't bridge the gap. Without a shift in consciousness, it's
impossible to clear the psychological slate and forgive deep hurts just
because you aspire to be moral. The imprints made on the psyche by violence
and humiliation, guilt and shame, prejudice and lack of love, are as real as
wounds to the body. The psyche possesses some healing mechanisms that work
-- the passage of time, forgetfulness, the will to forgive, a strong sense
of self, and love. These healing methods, however, have their limits.
Eventually, forgiveness cannot be accessed simply because you want to
forgive. The essence of forgiveness is transcendent -- it lies in a domain
of consciousness where the wound doesn't exist and the wrong never occurred. Whenever we forgive our children and other loved ones, we do so by transcending the normal responses of blame and judgment. To find a larger sense of forgiveness, you have to undertake a journey that leads to this transcendent place inside yourself. Sadly, few people begin the journey with enough knowledge and guidance to arrive at the goal. As Edwards will discover, it's an unforgiving world. But one must be deeply grateful that transcendent forgiveness is real. After all, the day may come when we need it ourselves for our own transgressions.
http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfa ... _caug.html
Couple beaten in Kenya determined to forgive
By Graeme Morton, Calgary HeraldJuly 11, 2009
I t's been one year, almost to the day, since Christian missionaries John and Eloise Bergen came face-to-face with death.
"And all I want to do these days is to put my arms around this planet and hug it," says John Bergen on the phone from Regina, where he and Eloise are putting the finishing touches on a book about their ordeal and their ongoing message of grace.
The Bergens, who lived in High River for years and have family in the Calgary area, had been working with orphaned children and on farming projects near Kitale, Kenya, with Hope for the Nations, a Kelowna, B. C.-based relief organization. They'd moved to Africa after selling their home in Vernon, B. C., called to serve the poorest of the poor.
On the evening of July 9, 2008, a group of five men and two women stormed into their rural home, armed with machetes and clubs and bent on robbery and mayhem. Two night guards hired to protect the Bergens did nothing to intervene.
The mob first swarmed 71-year-old John outside the home. He suffered a broken jaw, fractures to his skull, arms and legs and dozens of machete slashes. John eventually was able to crawl into nearby bushes when the attackers moved inside, where they severely beat and raped Eloise, 66. Despite her own serious injuries, Eloise was able to find John in the dark of the night and drive him to the nearby Hope for the Nations compound. The Bergens were then flown to Nairobi, Kenya's capital, for intensive medical care. They returned to Canada last July 28 to begin to rebuild their lives.
"Now, we talk a lot about the good memories we have of Africa and why we didn't die that night, how we were spared and how we've been blessed," says Bergen.
The Bergens will be speaking Sunday at the 10 a. m. service at the Calgary Life Church, 2685 36th St. N. E. Their book, Forgiveness in the Face of Terror, will be on sale later this summer.
"In the book, of course we write about what happened to us in Kenya, but we also talk about the importance of forgiveness in every aspect of our lives," says Bergen. "Tribalism and rivalries cause so much grief and bloodshed in places like Kenya. But it's the same idea of forgiving someone if, say, you're going through a crisis in your marriage. If you can't get past the bitterness and anger, it's like a poison that just eats away at you."
After their attack in Kenya, the Bergens came back to their son Lance and daughter-in-law Robyn's place in Chestermere.
"There was a period when I just had to work on this banged-up old body of mine. I'd go for walks with the dog and the grandkids in the'back 40' to get things moving again, because if you're confined to a hospital bed for some time, muscles begin to atrophy," says Bergen.
As their health improved, the Bergens began touring and speaking in churches across North America, relating their harrowing ordeal and their unshakable belief in the divine power of forgiveness. They have also raised thousands of dollars to drill water wells and produce healthy food for widows, orphans and others in desperate need in East Africa.
"Despite being raped and beaten so badly, every time Eloise speaks, she tells people, 'I am not a victim, because our Lord died to save us all,' " Bergen says.
"So many women just want to hug and hold her because they've been through similar violence and they've never been able to talk about it. That's when the healing starts."
The Bergens returned to Kenya in January for the court appearance of their attackers, who remain in jail. Bergen says the courtroom scene was chaotic, with the lead attacker picking up a chair and threatening to hurl it at the police chief. "There was absolutely no remorse. It was a bit heart-rending," he says.
A camperized van serves as the Bergens' home these days as they plan to continue an extensive speaking tour through the fall. Next January, they'll head back to Africa.
"Some of these little kids are orphans because their parents were killed for no other reason than they were members of the 'wrong' tribe. We want to tell people to link arms, instead of picking up arms that have been cut off."
Despite all they've been through, the Bergens, who celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary in June, have no plans to slow down.
"When you have lived with people who are struggling in grinding poverty, well . . . I have a hard time thinking about spending $50 on a game of golf," says Bergen. "I can't retire. There's so much need out there, so much to do."
More information on the Bergens' work is available at www.bergensmission.com
[email protected]
© Copyright (c) The Calgary Herald
http://www.calgaryherald.com/story_prin ... 8&sponsor=
By Graeme Morton, Calgary HeraldJuly 11, 2009
I t's been one year, almost to the day, since Christian missionaries John and Eloise Bergen came face-to-face with death.
"And all I want to do these days is to put my arms around this planet and hug it," says John Bergen on the phone from Regina, where he and Eloise are putting the finishing touches on a book about their ordeal and their ongoing message of grace.
The Bergens, who lived in High River for years and have family in the Calgary area, had been working with orphaned children and on farming projects near Kitale, Kenya, with Hope for the Nations, a Kelowna, B. C.-based relief organization. They'd moved to Africa after selling their home in Vernon, B. C., called to serve the poorest of the poor.
On the evening of July 9, 2008, a group of five men and two women stormed into their rural home, armed with machetes and clubs and bent on robbery and mayhem. Two night guards hired to protect the Bergens did nothing to intervene.
The mob first swarmed 71-year-old John outside the home. He suffered a broken jaw, fractures to his skull, arms and legs and dozens of machete slashes. John eventually was able to crawl into nearby bushes when the attackers moved inside, where they severely beat and raped Eloise, 66. Despite her own serious injuries, Eloise was able to find John in the dark of the night and drive him to the nearby Hope for the Nations compound. The Bergens were then flown to Nairobi, Kenya's capital, for intensive medical care. They returned to Canada last July 28 to begin to rebuild their lives.
"Now, we talk a lot about the good memories we have of Africa and why we didn't die that night, how we were spared and how we've been blessed," says Bergen.
The Bergens will be speaking Sunday at the 10 a. m. service at the Calgary Life Church, 2685 36th St. N. E. Their book, Forgiveness in the Face of Terror, will be on sale later this summer.
"In the book, of course we write about what happened to us in Kenya, but we also talk about the importance of forgiveness in every aspect of our lives," says Bergen. "Tribalism and rivalries cause so much grief and bloodshed in places like Kenya. But it's the same idea of forgiving someone if, say, you're going through a crisis in your marriage. If you can't get past the bitterness and anger, it's like a poison that just eats away at you."
After their attack in Kenya, the Bergens came back to their son Lance and daughter-in-law Robyn's place in Chestermere.
"There was a period when I just had to work on this banged-up old body of mine. I'd go for walks with the dog and the grandkids in the'back 40' to get things moving again, because if you're confined to a hospital bed for some time, muscles begin to atrophy," says Bergen.
As their health improved, the Bergens began touring and speaking in churches across North America, relating their harrowing ordeal and their unshakable belief in the divine power of forgiveness. They have also raised thousands of dollars to drill water wells and produce healthy food for widows, orphans and others in desperate need in East Africa.
"Despite being raped and beaten so badly, every time Eloise speaks, she tells people, 'I am not a victim, because our Lord died to save us all,' " Bergen says.
"So many women just want to hug and hold her because they've been through similar violence and they've never been able to talk about it. That's when the healing starts."
The Bergens returned to Kenya in January for the court appearance of their attackers, who remain in jail. Bergen says the courtroom scene was chaotic, with the lead attacker picking up a chair and threatening to hurl it at the police chief. "There was absolutely no remorse. It was a bit heart-rending," he says.
A camperized van serves as the Bergens' home these days as they plan to continue an extensive speaking tour through the fall. Next January, they'll head back to Africa.
"Some of these little kids are orphans because their parents were killed for no other reason than they were members of the 'wrong' tribe. We want to tell people to link arms, instead of picking up arms that have been cut off."
Despite all they've been through, the Bergens, who celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary in June, have no plans to slow down.
"When you have lived with people who are struggling in grinding poverty, well . . . I have a hard time thinking about spending $50 on a game of golf," says Bergen. "I can't retire. There's so much need out there, so much to do."
More information on the Bergens' work is available at www.bergensmission.com
[email protected]
© Copyright (c) The Calgary Herald
http://www.calgaryherald.com/story_prin ... 8&sponsor=
I have a very hard time forgiving people and i hold a very bad grudge.
I do believe in revenge. If you hurt me or my family, i will hurt you back. Whether it's been 15-20 yrs later.
I tried and tried to be a forgivable person but i am not...It's not in me.
Also, if you're an average human being with no learning disabilities and you make the same mistake 3 times, i won't even talk to you. Sorry if it's rude but...Thats life.
I do believe in revenge. If you hurt me or my family, i will hurt you back. Whether it's been 15-20 yrs later.
I tried and tried to be a forgivable person but i am not...It's not in me.
Also, if you're an average human being with no learning disabilities and you make the same mistake 3 times, i won't even talk to you. Sorry if it's rude but...Thats life.
There is a striking anecdote of an expression of the highest gesture of forgiveness by Mansur Ai-Hallaj given in the blog below on his execution.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Mansur al-Hallaj and al-Fatiha
I was stunned to read the following description of the execution of Mansur al-Hallaj which appeared in one of three lectures delivered at the School of Oriental Studies, the University of London in the summer of 1922 by Reynold A. Nicholson, Lecturer in Persian in the University of Cambridge, formerly Fellow of Trinity College:
"Ibrahim ibn Fatik relates as follows: When Husayn ibn Mansur al-Hallaj was brought to be crucified, and saw the cross and the nails, he laughed so greatly and violently that tears flowed from his eyes. Then he turned to the people and seeing Shibli among them said to him, "O Abu Bakr, hast thou thy prayer-carpet with thee?" Shibli answered, "Yes, O Shaykh!" Hallaj bade him spread it out, which he did. Then Hallaj stepped forward and prayed two rak'as on it, and I was near to him. In the first rak'a he recited the Fatiha, and a verse of the Koran, namely,
Every soul shall taste of death. Ye shall
be given your full rewards on the day of
Resurrection, and whoso shall be put far from
Hell-fire and caused to enter Paradise, happy
is he! The present life is but the goods of vanity.
(Sura 3:182)
In the second rak'a he recited the Fatiha and a verse of the
Koran, namely,
We will surely try thee with somewhat of
fear and hunger and loss of wealth and lives
and fruits. And bring a message of joy unto
the patient who say, when an affliction befalls
them, "lo, we belong to God and to Him we
shall return" Those are they upon whom
are blessings from their Lord and mercy, and
those are in the right way.
(Sura 2:150-152).
And when he had finished, he uttered a prayer of which
I remember only these words:
...O Lord, I beseech Thee to make me
thankful for the grace Thou hast bestowed
upon me in concealing from the eyes of other
men what Thou hast revealed to me of the
splendours of Thy radiant countenance which
is without a form, and in making it lawful
for me to behold the mysteries of Thy inmost
conscience which Thou hast made unlawful to
other men. And these Thy servants who are
gathered to slay me, in zeal for Thy religion
and in desire to win Thy favour, pardon them
and have mercy upon them; for verily if Thou
hadst revealed to them what which Thou hast
revealed to me, they would not have done
what they have done; and if Thou hadst
hidden from me that which Thou hast hidden
from them, I should not have suffered this
tribulation. Glory unto Thee in whatsoever
Thou doest, and glory unto Thee in whatsoever
Thou willest.
Then he remained silent for a time, communing with his Lord,
until Abu'l-Harith, the executioner went and smote him on the
cheek, breaking his nose with the blow, so that the blood
gushed out. Thereat Shibli cried aloud and rent his garment
and fell in a swoon, and so did Abu'l-Husayn al-Wasiti and
a number of well-known Sufis. And it almost came to riot."
(1964, pp. 45-47)
~ Excerpted from "The Idea of Personality in Sufism" by
Reynold A. Nicholson.
http://jalaledin.blogspot.com/
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Mansur al-Hallaj and al-Fatiha
I was stunned to read the following description of the execution of Mansur al-Hallaj which appeared in one of three lectures delivered at the School of Oriental Studies, the University of London in the summer of 1922 by Reynold A. Nicholson, Lecturer in Persian in the University of Cambridge, formerly Fellow of Trinity College:
"Ibrahim ibn Fatik relates as follows: When Husayn ibn Mansur al-Hallaj was brought to be crucified, and saw the cross and the nails, he laughed so greatly and violently that tears flowed from his eyes. Then he turned to the people and seeing Shibli among them said to him, "O Abu Bakr, hast thou thy prayer-carpet with thee?" Shibli answered, "Yes, O Shaykh!" Hallaj bade him spread it out, which he did. Then Hallaj stepped forward and prayed two rak'as on it, and I was near to him. In the first rak'a he recited the Fatiha, and a verse of the Koran, namely,
Every soul shall taste of death. Ye shall
be given your full rewards on the day of
Resurrection, and whoso shall be put far from
Hell-fire and caused to enter Paradise, happy
is he! The present life is but the goods of vanity.
(Sura 3:182)
In the second rak'a he recited the Fatiha and a verse of the
Koran, namely,
We will surely try thee with somewhat of
fear and hunger and loss of wealth and lives
and fruits. And bring a message of joy unto
the patient who say, when an affliction befalls
them, "lo, we belong to God and to Him we
shall return" Those are they upon whom
are blessings from their Lord and mercy, and
those are in the right way.
(Sura 2:150-152).
And when he had finished, he uttered a prayer of which
I remember only these words:
...O Lord, I beseech Thee to make me
thankful for the grace Thou hast bestowed
upon me in concealing from the eyes of other
men what Thou hast revealed to me of the
splendours of Thy radiant countenance which
is without a form, and in making it lawful
for me to behold the mysteries of Thy inmost
conscience which Thou hast made unlawful to
other men. And these Thy servants who are
gathered to slay me, in zeal for Thy religion
and in desire to win Thy favour, pardon them
and have mercy upon them; for verily if Thou
hadst revealed to them what which Thou hast
revealed to me, they would not have done
what they have done; and if Thou hadst
hidden from me that which Thou hast hidden
from them, I should not have suffered this
tribulation. Glory unto Thee in whatsoever
Thou doest, and glory unto Thee in whatsoever
Thou willest.
Then he remained silent for a time, communing with his Lord,
until Abu'l-Harith, the executioner went and smote him on the
cheek, breaking his nose with the blow, so that the blood
gushed out. Thereat Shibli cried aloud and rent his garment
and fell in a swoon, and so did Abu'l-Husayn al-Wasiti and
a number of well-known Sufis. And it almost came to riot."
(1964, pp. 45-47)
~ Excerpted from "The Idea of Personality in Sufism" by
Reynold A. Nicholson.
http://jalaledin.blogspot.com/
Forgiving can help families heal
By Robert Remington, Calgary Herald
October 22, 2009
In the decade since his son was murdered, Dale Lang has given the same speech more than 1,500 times.
He has repeated it so often, it is difficult for him to keep it fresh. But for his listeners, Lang's story is as powerful as ever, even though we all know the circumstances behind it and the message he is about to deliver.
He opens with the mundane, describing how April 28, 1999, a Wednesday, was just another ordinary day in his life. He and his wife Diane got the kids off to school and went shopping. When they returned home at 1 p.m., he could hear the phone ringing as he walked up the sidewalk.
"I said, 'Hello' and that's when everything began to change," he continues, describing how he was told that his son was brought into the local emergency room and that "it was very serious."
Thinking it was a car accident, Lang rushed to the hospital to discover that his son, Jason, had been shot at Taber's W.R. Myers High School in a copycat of the Columbine school shooting in Colorado eight days earlier.
With his son in the operating room, he wondered how such a thing could happen in Taber, population 8,000. When told that "Jason didn't make it," Lang, a local pastor, felt numb.
"I have never felt so empty or so alone in all my life. It was like there was nothing, like being in outer space without stars, without sound. It was just the coldest, most unbelievably painful moment I have ever experienced."
He continues his speech by telling of the memorial service held for Jason at the school and praying over the spot in the hallway where his son died, a powerful moment that helped an anguished staff and student body come to grips with the tragedy.
And then, to his hushed audience, he delivers his message about the fundamental Christian doctrine of forgiveness and how it released him and his family from their pain, hurt and anger.
"The reality is that we live in a world that is broken. We all get hurt, and forgiveness changes everything," he says.
"If we stay in the place of anger long, it will become a prison."
Lang delivered the speech Wednesday to the 41st annual Calgary Leadership Prayer Breakfast. I've seen him interviewed a dozen times, but it was the first time I had heard him tell the story in person. It was emotional and affected many in the room.
Ivan Juul-Hansen, who was called upon to thank Lang for his address, was so moved he could barely get the words out.
As Lang spoke about forgiving the troubled youth who killed his son and wounded classmate Shane Christmas, I couldn't help but think of Daniel Tschetter, the cement truck driver recently convicted of manslaughter. His dangerous driving killed five people, including three children. In a courtroom moment of genuine and heartfelt remorse, Tschetter begged forgiveness from the families of his victims-- not for his sake, but theirs.
"Please do not allow this anger to keep you from healing," he pleaded. Most family members said they could not yet bring themselves to forgive Tschetter.
Lang's speech also reminded me of the surviving relative of a Medicine Hat family killed in 2006 by their then-12-year-old daughter and her accomplice, 23-year-old Jeremy Steinke. Delivering a victim impact statement at Steinke's sentencing, the man told Steinke that he forgave him because it is what his dead sister, whom Steinke had stabbed 12 times, would have wanted.
For Lang, forgiveness has helped him immensely. But it is no panacea. Ten years on, he is not entirely healed.
"I don't think it's really accurate to say it gets easier. I think it's more accurate to say that I've gotten used to the pain of losing my son," he told his Calgary audience.
"The pain is never totally gone from your life. It doesn't mean that God has not healed me. It doesn't mean that I am depressed or that I grieve a lot. I don't. I enjoy my life. But it's a changed life. Someone is missing. And we always know that."
Lang is an inspirational speaker. His message is profound, even for those of us who are not religious. It is a message from which we all can learn--even, perhaps one day, the families of the victims of Daniel Tschetter.
[email protected]
© Copyright (c) The Calgary Herald
http://www.calgaryherald.com/story_prin ... 1&sponsor=
By Robert Remington, Calgary Herald
October 22, 2009
In the decade since his son was murdered, Dale Lang has given the same speech more than 1,500 times.
He has repeated it so often, it is difficult for him to keep it fresh. But for his listeners, Lang's story is as powerful as ever, even though we all know the circumstances behind it and the message he is about to deliver.
He opens with the mundane, describing how April 28, 1999, a Wednesday, was just another ordinary day in his life. He and his wife Diane got the kids off to school and went shopping. When they returned home at 1 p.m., he could hear the phone ringing as he walked up the sidewalk.
"I said, 'Hello' and that's when everything began to change," he continues, describing how he was told that his son was brought into the local emergency room and that "it was very serious."
Thinking it was a car accident, Lang rushed to the hospital to discover that his son, Jason, had been shot at Taber's W.R. Myers High School in a copycat of the Columbine school shooting in Colorado eight days earlier.
With his son in the operating room, he wondered how such a thing could happen in Taber, population 8,000. When told that "Jason didn't make it," Lang, a local pastor, felt numb.
"I have never felt so empty or so alone in all my life. It was like there was nothing, like being in outer space without stars, without sound. It was just the coldest, most unbelievably painful moment I have ever experienced."
He continues his speech by telling of the memorial service held for Jason at the school and praying over the spot in the hallway where his son died, a powerful moment that helped an anguished staff and student body come to grips with the tragedy.
And then, to his hushed audience, he delivers his message about the fundamental Christian doctrine of forgiveness and how it released him and his family from their pain, hurt and anger.
"The reality is that we live in a world that is broken. We all get hurt, and forgiveness changes everything," he says.
"If we stay in the place of anger long, it will become a prison."
Lang delivered the speech Wednesday to the 41st annual Calgary Leadership Prayer Breakfast. I've seen him interviewed a dozen times, but it was the first time I had heard him tell the story in person. It was emotional and affected many in the room.
Ivan Juul-Hansen, who was called upon to thank Lang for his address, was so moved he could barely get the words out.
As Lang spoke about forgiving the troubled youth who killed his son and wounded classmate Shane Christmas, I couldn't help but think of Daniel Tschetter, the cement truck driver recently convicted of manslaughter. His dangerous driving killed five people, including three children. In a courtroom moment of genuine and heartfelt remorse, Tschetter begged forgiveness from the families of his victims-- not for his sake, but theirs.
"Please do not allow this anger to keep you from healing," he pleaded. Most family members said they could not yet bring themselves to forgive Tschetter.
Lang's speech also reminded me of the surviving relative of a Medicine Hat family killed in 2006 by their then-12-year-old daughter and her accomplice, 23-year-old Jeremy Steinke. Delivering a victim impact statement at Steinke's sentencing, the man told Steinke that he forgave him because it is what his dead sister, whom Steinke had stabbed 12 times, would have wanted.
For Lang, forgiveness has helped him immensely. But it is no panacea. Ten years on, he is not entirely healed.
"I don't think it's really accurate to say it gets easier. I think it's more accurate to say that I've gotten used to the pain of losing my son," he told his Calgary audience.
"The pain is never totally gone from your life. It doesn't mean that God has not healed me. It doesn't mean that I am depressed or that I grieve a lot. I don't. I enjoy my life. But it's a changed life. Someone is missing. And we always know that."
Lang is an inspirational speaker. His message is profound, even for those of us who are not religious. It is a message from which we all can learn--even, perhaps one day, the families of the victims of Daniel Tschetter.
[email protected]
© Copyright (c) The Calgary Herald
http://www.calgaryherald.com/story_prin ... 1&sponsor=
Thursday July 22, 2010
What's on DNTO: July 24
Is it better to forgive... or simply forget? And if you want to forgive, how do you do it? This week, we explore the complicated nature of "forgiveness."
http://www.cbc.ca/dnto/2010/07/whats-on ... ly-24.html
Read on to find out what's on this week, or listen to the "Your DNTO" version of the podcast by clicking the player below. (You can also download the podcast here, or get the enhanced version from iTunes).
When Katy Hutchison came face-to-face with the man who murdered her husband, she made a decision that would change both their lives: she decided to forgive him. Why did she make that choice? She'll tell us her story.
If you could ask any person in your life to forgive you, who would it be? Sook-Yin takes to the street to find out.
Marina Cantacuzino traveled the world, meeting victims and perpetrators of inhumane treatment. She came back with stories, and a deeper understanding of who really benefits from the words "I forgive you." We'll hear from the founder of The Forgiveness Project.
We live in a culture where forgiveness is seen as a crucial part of healing. But what happens if you don't buy that argument? Globe & Mail writer - and divorced mom of three - Sarah Hampson will explain why divorce and forgiveness don't always get along.
You get that call one day: one of your parents, whom you've never been close to, is dying. It's time to have that moment of re-uniting, replacing feelings of abandonment with feelings of forgiveness, literally on the death bed. But things don't always go the way you expect... Darrell Dennis will tell us his story.
Imagine that fighting violence is your life's work, and that you've preached forgiveness as one way of doing that. And then someone murders your son. Sook-Yin will talk with former gang member Aqeela Sherrills about how he responded.
In most loving relationships, mistakes will be made, transgressions will occur, and you just have to forgive and forget in order to move on. But with sports fans, sometimes the hurt is just so big that you have to say "enough is enough." Steve Hunt will tell us how he reached the point of no forgiveness with his team.
Jenny Whitely's new album is called Forgive or Forget. But she'll come by to play us a tune live-in-studio... and reveal who she just can't forgive, no matter how hard she tries.
Years after she was horribly cruel to a friend, Aurora de Peña went to apologize to her victim. But she discovered that sometimes, forgiveness is a terrible thing to receive.
To err is human, to forgive divine. But what do you do if that error is never acknowledged? Sarah Anne Johnson will tell us about the complexities of forgiveness she explores in her photo series House on Fire and her choreographed work, Dancing with the Doctor.
What's on DNTO: July 24
Is it better to forgive... or simply forget? And if you want to forgive, how do you do it? This week, we explore the complicated nature of "forgiveness."
http://www.cbc.ca/dnto/2010/07/whats-on ... ly-24.html
Read on to find out what's on this week, or listen to the "Your DNTO" version of the podcast by clicking the player below. (You can also download the podcast here, or get the enhanced version from iTunes).
When Katy Hutchison came face-to-face with the man who murdered her husband, she made a decision that would change both their lives: she decided to forgive him. Why did she make that choice? She'll tell us her story.
If you could ask any person in your life to forgive you, who would it be? Sook-Yin takes to the street to find out.
Marina Cantacuzino traveled the world, meeting victims and perpetrators of inhumane treatment. She came back with stories, and a deeper understanding of who really benefits from the words "I forgive you." We'll hear from the founder of The Forgiveness Project.
We live in a culture where forgiveness is seen as a crucial part of healing. But what happens if you don't buy that argument? Globe & Mail writer - and divorced mom of three - Sarah Hampson will explain why divorce and forgiveness don't always get along.
You get that call one day: one of your parents, whom you've never been close to, is dying. It's time to have that moment of re-uniting, replacing feelings of abandonment with feelings of forgiveness, literally on the death bed. But things don't always go the way you expect... Darrell Dennis will tell us his story.
Imagine that fighting violence is your life's work, and that you've preached forgiveness as one way of doing that. And then someone murders your son. Sook-Yin will talk with former gang member Aqeela Sherrills about how he responded.
In most loving relationships, mistakes will be made, transgressions will occur, and you just have to forgive and forget in order to move on. But with sports fans, sometimes the hurt is just so big that you have to say "enough is enough." Steve Hunt will tell us how he reached the point of no forgiveness with his team.
Jenny Whitely's new album is called Forgive or Forget. But she'll come by to play us a tune live-in-studio... and reveal who she just can't forgive, no matter how hard she tries.
Years after she was horribly cruel to a friend, Aurora de Peña went to apologize to her victim. But she discovered that sometimes, forgiveness is a terrible thing to receive.
To err is human, to forgive divine. But what do you do if that error is never acknowledged? Sarah Anne Johnson will tell us about the complexities of forgiveness she explores in her photo series House on Fire and her choreographed work, Dancing with the Doctor.
Nurse Meets Estranged Father in Hospital
Wanda Rodriguez was stunned to find her new patient was her father.
07:04 | 09/06/2010
Woman's life takes a turn when she comes face-to-face with a dad
who left 41 years ago.................
7 min video....
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/nurse-m ... d-11567270
Wanda Rodriguez was stunned to find her new patient was her father.
07:04 | 09/06/2010
Woman's life takes a turn when she comes face-to-face with a dad
who left 41 years ago.................
7 min video....
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/nurse-m ... d-11567270
The Act of Rigorous Forgiving
There’s something sad in Brian Williams’s need to puff up his Iraq adventures and something barbaric in the public response.
The sad part is the reminder that no matter how high you go in life and no matter how many accolades you win, it’s never enough. The desire for even more admiration races ahead. Career success never really satisfies. Public love always leaves you hungry. Even very famous people can do self-destructive things in an attempt to seem just a little cooler.
The barbaric part is the way we respond to scandal these days. When somebody violates a public trust, we try to purge and ostracize him. A sort of coliseum culture takes over, leaving no place for mercy. By now, the script is familiar: Some famous person does something wrong. The Internet, the most impersonal of mediums, erupts with contempt and mockery. The offender issues a paltry half-apology, which only inflames the public more. The pounding cry for resignation builds until capitulation comes. Public passion is spent and the spotlight moves on.
I’ve only spoken with Williams a few times, and can’t really speak about the man (though I often appear on NBC News’s “Meet the Press”), but I do think we’d all be better off if we reacted to these sorts of scandals in a different way. The civic fabric would be stronger if, instead of trying to sever relationships with those who have done wrong, we tried to repair them, if we tried forgiveness instead of exiling.
Forgiveness is often spoken of in sentimental terms — as gushy absolution for everything, regardless of right or wrong. But many writers — ranging from Hannah Arendt and the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. to modern figures like Jeffrie Murphy and L. Gregory Jones — have tried to think hard about rigorous forgiveness, which balances accountability with compassion.
They’ve generally described four different processes involved in forgiveness:
Pre-emptive mercy. Martin Luther King Jr. argued that forgiveness isn’t an act; it’s an attitude. We are all sinners. We expect sin, empathize with sin and are slow to think ourselves superior. The forgiving person is strong enough to display anger and resentment toward the person who has wronged her, but she is also strong enough to give away that anger and resentment.
In this view, the forgiving person makes the first move, even before the offender has asked. She resists the natural urge for vengeance. Instead, she creates a welcoming context in which the offender can confess.
Judgment. A wrong is an occasion to re-evaluate. What is the character of the person in question? Should a period of stupidity eclipse a record of decency?
It’s also an occasion to investigate each unique circumstance, the nature of each sin that was committed and the implied remedy to that sin. Some sins, like anger and lust, are like wild beasts. They have to be fought through habits of restraint. Some sins like bigotry are like stains. They can only be expunged by apology and cleansing. Some like stealing are like a debt. They can only be rectified by repaying. Some, like adultery, are more like treason than like crime; they can only be rectified by slowly reweaving relationships. Some sins like vanity — Williams’s sin — can only be treated by extreme self-abasement.
During the judgment phase, hard questions have to be asked so that in forgiving we don’t lower our standards.
Confession and Penitence. At some point the offender has to get out in front of the process, being more self-critical than anyone else around him. He has to probe down to the root of his error, offer a confession more complete than expected. He has to put public reputation and career on the back burner and come up with a course that will move him toward his own emotional and spiritual recovery, to become strongest in the weakest places.
Reconciliation and re-trust. After judgments have been made and penitence performed, both the offender and offended bend toward each other. As Martin Luther King Jr. said, trust doesn’t have to be immediate, but the wrong act is no longer a barrier to a relationship. The offender endures his season of shame and is better for it. The offended are free from mean emotions like vengeance and are uplifted when they offer kindness. The social fabric is repaired. Community solidarity is strengthened by the reunion.
I guess I think Brian Williams shouldn’t have to resign, for the reason David Carr emphasized in The Times: Williams’s transgressions were not part of his primary job responsibilities. And because I think good people are stronger when given second chances.
But the larger question is how we build community in the face of scandal. Do we exile the offender or heal the relationship? Would you rather become the sort of person who excludes, or one who offers tough but healing love?
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/10/opini ... 05309&_r=0
There’s something sad in Brian Williams’s need to puff up his Iraq adventures and something barbaric in the public response.
The sad part is the reminder that no matter how high you go in life and no matter how many accolades you win, it’s never enough. The desire for even more admiration races ahead. Career success never really satisfies. Public love always leaves you hungry. Even very famous people can do self-destructive things in an attempt to seem just a little cooler.
The barbaric part is the way we respond to scandal these days. When somebody violates a public trust, we try to purge and ostracize him. A sort of coliseum culture takes over, leaving no place for mercy. By now, the script is familiar: Some famous person does something wrong. The Internet, the most impersonal of mediums, erupts with contempt and mockery. The offender issues a paltry half-apology, which only inflames the public more. The pounding cry for resignation builds until capitulation comes. Public passion is spent and the spotlight moves on.
I’ve only spoken with Williams a few times, and can’t really speak about the man (though I often appear on NBC News’s “Meet the Press”), but I do think we’d all be better off if we reacted to these sorts of scandals in a different way. The civic fabric would be stronger if, instead of trying to sever relationships with those who have done wrong, we tried to repair them, if we tried forgiveness instead of exiling.
Forgiveness is often spoken of in sentimental terms — as gushy absolution for everything, regardless of right or wrong. But many writers — ranging from Hannah Arendt and the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. to modern figures like Jeffrie Murphy and L. Gregory Jones — have tried to think hard about rigorous forgiveness, which balances accountability with compassion.
They’ve generally described four different processes involved in forgiveness:
Pre-emptive mercy. Martin Luther King Jr. argued that forgiveness isn’t an act; it’s an attitude. We are all sinners. We expect sin, empathize with sin and are slow to think ourselves superior. The forgiving person is strong enough to display anger and resentment toward the person who has wronged her, but she is also strong enough to give away that anger and resentment.
In this view, the forgiving person makes the first move, even before the offender has asked. She resists the natural urge for vengeance. Instead, she creates a welcoming context in which the offender can confess.
Judgment. A wrong is an occasion to re-evaluate. What is the character of the person in question? Should a period of stupidity eclipse a record of decency?
It’s also an occasion to investigate each unique circumstance, the nature of each sin that was committed and the implied remedy to that sin. Some sins, like anger and lust, are like wild beasts. They have to be fought through habits of restraint. Some sins like bigotry are like stains. They can only be expunged by apology and cleansing. Some like stealing are like a debt. They can only be rectified by repaying. Some, like adultery, are more like treason than like crime; they can only be rectified by slowly reweaving relationships. Some sins like vanity — Williams’s sin — can only be treated by extreme self-abasement.
During the judgment phase, hard questions have to be asked so that in forgiving we don’t lower our standards.
Confession and Penitence. At some point the offender has to get out in front of the process, being more self-critical than anyone else around him. He has to probe down to the root of his error, offer a confession more complete than expected. He has to put public reputation and career on the back burner and come up with a course that will move him toward his own emotional and spiritual recovery, to become strongest in the weakest places.
Reconciliation and re-trust. After judgments have been made and penitence performed, both the offender and offended bend toward each other. As Martin Luther King Jr. said, trust doesn’t have to be immediate, but the wrong act is no longer a barrier to a relationship. The offender endures his season of shame and is better for it. The offended are free from mean emotions like vengeance and are uplifted when they offer kindness. The social fabric is repaired. Community solidarity is strengthened by the reunion.
I guess I think Brian Williams shouldn’t have to resign, for the reason David Carr emphasized in The Times: Williams’s transgressions were not part of his primary job responsibilities. And because I think good people are stronger when given second chances.
But the larger question is how we build community in the face of scandal. Do we exile the offender or heal the relationship? Would you rather become the sort of person who excludes, or one who offers tough but healing love?
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/10/opini ... 05309&_r=0
Forgiveness is not always easy.
At times, it feels more painful
than the wound we suffered,
to forgive the one that inflicted it.
And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.
- Marianne Williamson
Forgiveness ... is the finishing of old business
that allows us to experience the present,
free of contamination from the past.
- Joan Borysenko
Forgiveness means letting go of the hope for a better past.
- Lama Surya Das
There is a great future in front of you,
you can leave your past behind.
- Joel Osteen
Forgive those who have injured you -
not because they deserve your forgiveness,
but because you can never be happy until
you release your anger and grant forgiveness.
Forgiving is not a gift to someone else -
Forgiving is your gift to yourself - a great gift - the gift of happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
At times, it feels more painful
than the wound we suffered,
to forgive the one that inflicted it.
And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.
- Marianne Williamson
Forgiveness ... is the finishing of old business
that allows us to experience the present,
free of contamination from the past.
- Joan Borysenko
Forgiveness means letting go of the hope for a better past.
- Lama Surya Das
There is a great future in front of you,
you can leave your past behind.
- Joel Osteen
Forgive those who have injured you -
not because they deserve your forgiveness,
but because you can never be happy until
you release your anger and grant forgiveness.
Forgiving is not a gift to someone else -
Forgiving is your gift to yourself - a great gift - the gift of happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The link is:kmaherali wrote:Seek forgiveness from the person that is harmed first and then seek forgiveness from God.
There has been an extended discussion on fogiveness under:
Inspiration --> Learn to Forgvr
Learn to Forgivr
http://www.ismaili.net/html/modules.php ... pic&t=1043
Pope Francis's Message about the family:
"There is no perfect family. We have no perfect parents, we are not perfect, do not get married to a perfect person, neither do we have perfect children. We have complaints about each other. We are disappointed by one another. THerefore, there is no healthy marriage or health family without the exercise of forgiveness. Forgiveness is vital to our emotional health and spiritual survival.
Without forgiveness the family becomes sick. Forgiveness is the sterilization of the soul, cleaning the mind and the liberation of the heart. Anyone who does not forgive has no peace of soul and communion with god. Pain is a poison that intoxicates and kills.
Maintaining a wound of the heart is a self-destructive action. It is an autophagy. He who does not forgive sickens physically, emotionally and spiritually.
That is why the family must be a place of life and not of death. an enclave of cure not of disease, a stage of forgiveness and not of guilt.
Forgiveness brings joy and where sorrow produced pain; and healing, where pain caused disease.
"There is no perfect family. We have no perfect parents, we are not perfect, do not get married to a perfect person, neither do we have perfect children. We have complaints about each other. We are disappointed by one another. THerefore, there is no healthy marriage or health family without the exercise of forgiveness. Forgiveness is vital to our emotional health and spiritual survival.
Without forgiveness the family becomes sick. Forgiveness is the sterilization of the soul, cleaning the mind and the liberation of the heart. Anyone who does not forgive has no peace of soul and communion with god. Pain is a poison that intoxicates and kills.
Maintaining a wound of the heart is a self-destructive action. It is an autophagy. He who does not forgive sickens physically, emotionally and spiritually.
That is why the family must be a place of life and not of death. an enclave of cure not of disease, a stage of forgiveness and not of guilt.
Forgiveness brings joy and where sorrow produced pain; and healing, where pain caused disease.
Live Life with No Regrets
For all sad words of tongue and pen,
The saddest are these, "It might have been".
- John Greenleaf Whittier
Regret is an appalling waste of energy,
you can't build on it - it's only good for wallowing in.
- Katherine Mansfield
I rest in the light of forgiveness.
I forgive myself and others for that
which is done (and better left undone)
and also that which is not done (and better if done).
I give myself permission to enjoy this moment without guilt.
I freely release all uncertainty, regret, and fear.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Live life with no regrets and no resentments.
Whatever happened in the past,
forgive yourself and others. Choose love.
- Jonathan Lockwood
For all sad words of tongue and pen,
The saddest are these, "It might have been".
- John Greenleaf Whittier
Regret is an appalling waste of energy,
you can't build on it - it's only good for wallowing in.
- Katherine Mansfield
I rest in the light of forgiveness.
I forgive myself and others for that
which is done (and better left undone)
and also that which is not done (and better if done).
I give myself permission to enjoy this moment without guilt.
I freely release all uncertainty, regret, and fear.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Live life with no regrets and no resentments.
Whatever happened in the past,
forgive yourself and others. Choose love.
- Jonathan Lockwood
FARMAN ON FORGIVENESS
The second principle that Hazrat Ali emphasized, but which is part of the interpretation of Islam around the world, is the principle of generosity, of kindness, of caring, of forgiveness, that is, of searching to serve those in need, forgiving those who may have made a mistake or banned you, because it is that forgiveness which will strengthen you, and which will give them respect for your behavior, and it will encourage them to follow your behavior. Therefore, serving the weak, serving the poor, working together to solve societal problems is a fundamental aspect of our faith. Remember this, because many of you are living in societies where there are deep differences, where there is much pain, and it is essential that you should took to the future on the principle of the ethics of our faith, of generosity, kindness and forgiveness.
(FARMAN MUBARAK OF MAWLANA HAZAR IMAM
MADE IN MOSCOW, RUSSIA SUNDAY, 29TH JANUARY, 1995)
The second principle that Hazrat Ali emphasized, but which is part of the interpretation of Islam around the world, is the principle of generosity, of kindness, of caring, of forgiveness, that is, of searching to serve those in need, forgiving those who may have made a mistake or banned you, because it is that forgiveness which will strengthen you, and which will give them respect for your behavior, and it will encourage them to follow your behavior. Therefore, serving the weak, serving the poor, working together to solve societal problems is a fundamental aspect of our faith. Remember this, because many of you are living in societies where there are deep differences, where there is much pain, and it is essential that you should took to the future on the principle of the ethics of our faith, of generosity, kindness and forgiveness.
(FARMAN MUBARAK OF MAWLANA HAZAR IMAM
MADE IN MOSCOW, RUSSIA SUNDAY, 29TH JANUARY, 1995)
FARMAN ON FORGIVENESS AND EK-DIL (UNITY)
"If your heart (dil) assures you that you do backbite, that you do betray someone, that you do speak lies, then restrain your heart from doing such evil acts. You go at once to the person whom you have betrayed, whom you have backbitten, about whom you have spoken ill. Whether that person is in jamatkhana or anywhere else, go there, and with humility and open-heart confess your sin of betrayal, of enmity and of any type that you may have committed, and beg forgiveness from him. After begging forgiveness with clean heart, you become ek-dil, and after that, you must not commit such a sin of him. In this manner, if you will form the habit of begging forgiveness of sins from each other and of becoming ek-dil, then you would not be at a loss over any matter whatsoever." (Nairobi 6--10--1905)
"If your heart (dil) assures you that you do backbite, that you do betray someone, that you do speak lies, then restrain your heart from doing such evil acts. You go at once to the person whom you have betrayed, whom you have backbitten, about whom you have spoken ill. Whether that person is in jamatkhana or anywhere else, go there, and with humility and open-heart confess your sin of betrayal, of enmity and of any type that you may have committed, and beg forgiveness from him. After begging forgiveness with clean heart, you become ek-dil, and after that, you must not commit such a sin of him. In this manner, if you will form the habit of begging forgiveness of sins from each other and of becoming ek-dil, then you would not be at a loss over any matter whatsoever." (Nairobi 6--10--1905)
Burning Away Old Regrets and Resentments
Forgiveness is the cleansing fire
that burns away old regrets and resentments.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Forgiveness is the key to happiness.
- A Course In Miracles
There is no love without forgiveness,
and there is no forgiveness without love.
- Bryant H. McGill
The practice of forgiveness is our most important
contribution to the healing of the world.
- Marianne Williamson
Today's affirmation:
I accept everything that ever has been,
with no regrets, no resentments, and no call for vengeance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Forgiveness is the cleansing fire
that burns away old regrets and resentments.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Forgiveness is the key to happiness.
- A Course In Miracles
There is no love without forgiveness,
and there is no forgiveness without love.
- Bryant H. McGill
The practice of forgiveness is our most important
contribution to the healing of the world.
- Marianne Williamson
Today's affirmation:
I accept everything that ever has been,
with no regrets, no resentments, and no call for vengeance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The Gift of Forgiving
Without forgiveness, life is governed
by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.
- Roberto Assagioli
Today, I say yes to forgiving.
I commit to being for-giving love
and for-giving compassion in all areas of my life.
- Sheri Rosenthal
Humanity is never so beautiful as when praying for forgiveness,
or else forgiving another.
- Jean Paul
Give yourself the gift of forgiving
everyone you are angry with -
for every action you resent.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Without forgiveness, life is governed
by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.
- Roberto Assagioli
Today, I say yes to forgiving.
I commit to being for-giving love
and for-giving compassion in all areas of my life.
- Sheri Rosenthal
Humanity is never so beautiful as when praying for forgiveness,
or else forgiving another.
- Jean Paul
Give yourself the gift of forgiving
everyone you are angry with -
for every action you resent.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Tomatoes
Tomatoes !!!
A teacher asked her students to bring some tomatoes in a plastic bag to school. Each tomato was to be given the name of a person whom that child hates. So, the number of tomatoes would be equal to the number of persons they hate. On a pre-determined day, All the children brought their tomatoes well addressed. Some had two, some had three and some had five, some even had 20 tomatoes in accordance with the number of people they hated. The teacher then told them they had to carry the tomatoes with them everywhere they go for two weeks. As the days passed the children started to complain about the decay and smell of the tomatoes. The students who had many tomatoes complained it was very heavy to carry and the smell was too much.After a week, the teacher asked the students “How did you feel this week?” The children complained of the awful smell and heavy weight of the tomatoes, especially those who carried several tomatoes.
The teacher said, “This is very similar to what you carry in your heart when you don’t like some people. Hatred makes the heart unhealthy and you carry that hatred everywhere. If you can’t bear the smell of spoilt tomatoes for a week, imagine the impact of bitterness on your heart as you carry it daily.” The heart is a beautiful garden that needs regular cleaning of unwanted weeds. Forgive those who have angered you. This makes room for storing good things.Get Better, Not Bitter!!!
Tomatoes !!!
A teacher asked her students to bring some tomatoes in a plastic bag to school. Each tomato was to be given the name of a person whom that child hates. So, the number of tomatoes would be equal to the number of persons they hate. On a pre-determined day, All the children brought their tomatoes well addressed. Some had two, some had three and some had five, some even had 20 tomatoes in accordance with the number of people they hated. The teacher then told them they had to carry the tomatoes with them everywhere they go for two weeks. As the days passed the children started to complain about the decay and smell of the tomatoes. The students who had many tomatoes complained it was very heavy to carry and the smell was too much.After a week, the teacher asked the students “How did you feel this week?” The children complained of the awful smell and heavy weight of the tomatoes, especially those who carried several tomatoes.
The teacher said, “This is very similar to what you carry in your heart when you don’t like some people. Hatred makes the heart unhealthy and you carry that hatred everywhere. If you can’t bear the smell of spoilt tomatoes for a week, imagine the impact of bitterness on your heart as you carry it daily.” The heart is a beautiful garden that needs regular cleaning of unwanted weeds. Forgive those who have angered you. This makes room for storing good things.Get Better, Not Bitter!!!