How do you raise a genius? Researchers say they’ve found the secret to successful parenting
Albert Einstein didn’t speak until he was three, but by age 12, he was already studying calculus. So it comes as no surprise that he would go on to revolutionize the world of science. Yet the question still remains: How did he become such a genius?
For years, researchers have been trying to find the answer. A 1999 study in the Lancet that analyzed 14 photographs of Einstein’s brain found that one brain region was completely absent, allowing his parietal lobe (which holds several areas that are important in language processing) to take up more space. Other studies of his brain found that it was larger than most others.
But in a new book, “The Formula: Unlocking the Secrets to Raising Highly Successful Children,” award-winning journalist Tatsha Robertson and Harvard economist Ronald F. Ferguson explore the how parents of successful children contributed to their achievements and the actionable insights we can glean about their child-rearing.
The ‘Formula’ for successful parenting
Over the course of 15 years, Robertson and Ferguson analyzed 200 high-achieving adults and their parents. They also studied the childhoods of well-known figures, from Anne, Susan and Janet Wojcicki (who have been called the “Silicon Valley sisters”) to Albert Einstein.
In the research, a clear pattern emerged: “The approaches that parents of high achievers adopted, beginning in the earliest years of life, bore real and striking similarities, despite those parents’ widely divergent backgrounds and life circumstances.
That pattern, which Robertson and Ferguson call the “Formula,” consists of eight roles: The Early Learning Partner, the Flight Engineer, the Fixer, the Revealer, the Philosopher, the Model, the Negotiator and the GPS Navigational Voice.
Einstein’s parents, Pauline and Hermann, were very supportive in all eight roles, Robertson tells CNBC Make It, but they were particularly skilled at being Negotiators and Revealers.
More...
https://www.cnbcafrica.com/news/special ... parenting/
Parenting Issues
Parenting in the Time of Measles
As many as half of the home-schooled kids I encounter are not vaccinated.
Excerpt:
But if vaccines are so important to my family, I’ve come to ask myself how intellectually honest it is for me to turn a blind eye and continue to allow my kids to socialize with families who are putting us all at risk.
That’s the problem with vaccine refusal: It is not an individual choice. It is a choice that endangers everyone, especially those too young or sick to be vaccinated.
Right now, the only solution to the anti-vaccine public health crisis on a legislative level is to eliminate nonmedical exemptions for children entering school, and it is a policy that should be instituted and tightened in every state, as it is in California. This is an important step that states need to take, but it is only part of the solution as more and more families opt out of the system.
Thankfully, government intervention isn’t the only tool we have to address this crisis. Pediatricians should refuse to treat patients who refuse to vaccinate, leaving parents who would expose a waiting room to the measles with a choice: Do I vaccinate to make sure my child can be also treated for normal childhood ailments like ear infections and strep throat? One should not come without the other, not when other patients are put at unnecessary risk.
More....
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/03/opin ... dline&te=1
As many as half of the home-schooled kids I encounter are not vaccinated.
Excerpt:
But if vaccines are so important to my family, I’ve come to ask myself how intellectually honest it is for me to turn a blind eye and continue to allow my kids to socialize with families who are putting us all at risk.
That’s the problem with vaccine refusal: It is not an individual choice. It is a choice that endangers everyone, especially those too young or sick to be vaccinated.
Right now, the only solution to the anti-vaccine public health crisis on a legislative level is to eliminate nonmedical exemptions for children entering school, and it is a policy that should be instituted and tightened in every state, as it is in California. This is an important step that states need to take, but it is only part of the solution as more and more families opt out of the system.
Thankfully, government intervention isn’t the only tool we have to address this crisis. Pediatricians should refuse to treat patients who refuse to vaccinate, leaving parents who would expose a waiting room to the measles with a choice: Do I vaccinate to make sure my child can be also treated for normal childhood ailments like ear infections and strep throat? One should not come without the other, not when other patients are put at unnecessary risk.
More....
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/03/opin ... dline&te=1
Hospital in this East African country opens human milk bank, a first for the nation
When breastfeeding is not an option, the World Health Organisation (WHO) recommends donated human milk as a lifesaving alternative, and evidence paints a very strong picture in favour of donated human milk over infant formula.
Excerpt:
What is a milk bank and how does it work?
Human milk banks are facilities that systematically collect, pasteurise, test, store, and distribute donated breast milk.
An effective system has many operational processes to ensure it provides safe, high quality donor milk. They start with screening and recruiting donors who must be healthy mothers with surplus milk beyond the needs of their own child’s. Donors must undergo health checks including tests that screen for HIV, syphilis, and hepatitis B and C. Diseases could be passed to children through breastmilk.
Donors must then express milk in hygienic conditions, after which the milk is pasteurised. This involves heating the milk in a water bath at 62.5°c for 30 minutes followed by rapid cooling.
At the bank, the milk is frozen and stored at -20c. When needed, it’s thawed to room temperature and issued to children who don’t have access to their own mothers’ milk. A prescription by a qualified health professional is needed for this.
Why are they needed?
Although breastfeeding is the most natural and best way to feed infants, many babies may lack access to their mother’s milk. This could’ve happened for many reasons – maybe the mother is sick, hasn’t got enough breast milk or is dead.
From our formative research, 44% of newborns in urban health facilities were separated from their mothers for varying periods of time. This ranged from less than an hour to more than 6 hours and even days after birth. Of these infants, only 14% were fed on mother’s own milk during separation. 36% of the newborns weren’t fed on anything during this period and an additional 23% were fed on formula or cow’s milk.
When breastfeeding is not an option, the World Health Organisation (WHO) recommends donated human milk as a lifesaving alternative. Particularly for babies that were born early, have low birth weight, are orphaned, malnourished or are severely ill.
More...
https://www.cnbcafrica.com/news/east-af ... e-country/
When breastfeeding is not an option, the World Health Organisation (WHO) recommends donated human milk as a lifesaving alternative, and evidence paints a very strong picture in favour of donated human milk over infant formula.
Excerpt:
What is a milk bank and how does it work?
Human milk banks are facilities that systematically collect, pasteurise, test, store, and distribute donated breast milk.
An effective system has many operational processes to ensure it provides safe, high quality donor milk. They start with screening and recruiting donors who must be healthy mothers with surplus milk beyond the needs of their own child’s. Donors must undergo health checks including tests that screen for HIV, syphilis, and hepatitis B and C. Diseases could be passed to children through breastmilk.
Donors must then express milk in hygienic conditions, after which the milk is pasteurised. This involves heating the milk in a water bath at 62.5°c for 30 minutes followed by rapid cooling.
At the bank, the milk is frozen and stored at -20c. When needed, it’s thawed to room temperature and issued to children who don’t have access to their own mothers’ milk. A prescription by a qualified health professional is needed for this.
Why are they needed?
Although breastfeeding is the most natural and best way to feed infants, many babies may lack access to their mother’s milk. This could’ve happened for many reasons – maybe the mother is sick, hasn’t got enough breast milk or is dead.
From our formative research, 44% of newborns in urban health facilities were separated from their mothers for varying periods of time. This ranged from less than an hour to more than 6 hours and even days after birth. Of these infants, only 14% were fed on mother’s own milk during separation. 36% of the newborns weren’t fed on anything during this period and an additional 23% were fed on formula or cow’s milk.
When breastfeeding is not an option, the World Health Organisation (WHO) recommends donated human milk as a lifesaving alternative. Particularly for babies that were born early, have low birth weight, are orphaned, malnourished or are severely ill.
More...
https://www.cnbcafrica.com/news/east-af ... e-country/
The Data All Guilt-Ridden Parents Need
What science tells us about breast-feeding, sleep training and the other agonizing decisions of parenthood.
Excerpt:
These decisions — breast-feeding, sleep training, working — are just three of many that will come up in the first year of a child’s life. More await, from co-sleeping to screen time and more.
One day, your child will have a temper tantrum. How on earth do you deal with that? Exorcism? And what about potty training? You may find your child is one of a surprisingly large share (about 1 in 5) who refuse to poop in the toilet (it has a name: “stool toileting refusal”). In your pre-child life, you probably never thought about the question of how to encourage someone to poop in a particular location. But there you are, needing to find your way.
That lady on the internet comment board wants to tell you what to do, but she doesn’t live in your house, and she cannot know what is right for your family.
I’m not trying to give advice. I’m just arguing that in many cases the data can be helpful. But if the data falls short and you still want advice, let me pass along something our pediatrician once told me. It was our 2-year-old’s checkup, and I had my usual list of neuroses.
“We are going on this vacation, and there are bees,” I said. “It’s kind of isolated. What if Penelope is stung? She’s never been stung before. What if she’s allergic? How will I get her to a doctor in time? Should I bring something to be prepared for this? Should we test her in advance? Do I need an EpiPen?”
In other words, I had built up this elaborate and incredibly unlikely scenario in my head. I needed someone to remind me that yes, this could happen. But so could a million other things. Parenting is not actually about planning for every possible disaster.
The doctor paused. And then she said, very calmly:
“Hmm. I’d probably just try not to think about that.”
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/19/opin ... TIH6TZgWQd
What science tells us about breast-feeding, sleep training and the other agonizing decisions of parenthood.
Excerpt:
These decisions — breast-feeding, sleep training, working — are just three of many that will come up in the first year of a child’s life. More await, from co-sleeping to screen time and more.
One day, your child will have a temper tantrum. How on earth do you deal with that? Exorcism? And what about potty training? You may find your child is one of a surprisingly large share (about 1 in 5) who refuse to poop in the toilet (it has a name: “stool toileting refusal”). In your pre-child life, you probably never thought about the question of how to encourage someone to poop in a particular location. But there you are, needing to find your way.
That lady on the internet comment board wants to tell you what to do, but she doesn’t live in your house, and she cannot know what is right for your family.
I’m not trying to give advice. I’m just arguing that in many cases the data can be helpful. But if the data falls short and you still want advice, let me pass along something our pediatrician once told me. It was our 2-year-old’s checkup, and I had my usual list of neuroses.
“We are going on this vacation, and there are bees,” I said. “It’s kind of isolated. What if Penelope is stung? She’s never been stung before. What if she’s allergic? How will I get her to a doctor in time? Should I bring something to be prepared for this? Should we test her in advance? Do I need an EpiPen?”
In other words, I had built up this elaborate and incredibly unlikely scenario in my head. I needed someone to remind me that yes, this could happen. But so could a million other things. Parenting is not actually about planning for every possible disaster.
The doctor paused. And then she said, very calmly:
“Hmm. I’d probably just try not to think about that.”
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/19/opin ... TIH6TZgWQd
A workshop for parents on understanding the impact of childhood abuse and trauma on parenting, including supportive tools and resources.
You thought you were “over it” — those terrible things happened a long time ago. Maybe you’ve been to therapy or maybe enough time has gone by and your past feels long gone. Then you have children and begin reliving your childhood trauma through flashbacks, panic attacks and other post-traumatic stress symptoms. You are not alone in what you are struggling with and healing is possible.
This workshop will focus on understanding the impact of childhood abuse and trauma on parenting, including what steps we can take to heal ourselves while raising our children. We will cover the Adverse Childhood Experiences study and teach about the neuroscience of trauma. You will leave with some simple tools you can use for self-regulation and a list of resources to help you build your circle of support.
Participants will gain an understanding of:
how early childhood trauma affects mental, emotional, and physical health throughout the lifespan
common triggers for parenting survivors
common reactions and symptoms experienced by parenting survivors
the role self and co-regulation play in recalibrating the body’s stress response system
About the Presenter: Joyelle Brandt
Joyelle Brandt is a Self-Care Coach for moms. She specializes in working with mothers who are survivors of abuse – helping them develop a personalized self soothing toolkit for stress management. As a speaker, mothering coach, and multi-media creator, Joyelle works to dismantle the stigma that keeps childhood abuse survivors stuck in shame and self-hatred. She is the author/illustrator of Princess Monsters from A to Z and co-editor of Parenting with PTSD, the groundbreaking anthology that breaks the silence about the long-term impact of childhood trauma so that parents can break the cycle of abuse. When she is not busy raising two rambunctious boys, she is most often found playing her guitar or covered in paint at her art desk. You can keep up with Joyelle at www.joyellebrandt.com.
http://breathingspacecounselling.ca/events/
You thought you were “over it” — those terrible things happened a long time ago. Maybe you’ve been to therapy or maybe enough time has gone by and your past feels long gone. Then you have children and begin reliving your childhood trauma through flashbacks, panic attacks and other post-traumatic stress symptoms. You are not alone in what you are struggling with and healing is possible.
This workshop will focus on understanding the impact of childhood abuse and trauma on parenting, including what steps we can take to heal ourselves while raising our children. We will cover the Adverse Childhood Experiences study and teach about the neuroscience of trauma. You will leave with some simple tools you can use for self-regulation and a list of resources to help you build your circle of support.
Participants will gain an understanding of:
how early childhood trauma affects mental, emotional, and physical health throughout the lifespan
common triggers for parenting survivors
common reactions and symptoms experienced by parenting survivors
the role self and co-regulation play in recalibrating the body’s stress response system
About the Presenter: Joyelle Brandt
Joyelle Brandt is a Self-Care Coach for moms. She specializes in working with mothers who are survivors of abuse – helping them develop a personalized self soothing toolkit for stress management. As a speaker, mothering coach, and multi-media creator, Joyelle works to dismantle the stigma that keeps childhood abuse survivors stuck in shame and self-hatred. She is the author/illustrator of Princess Monsters from A to Z and co-editor of Parenting with PTSD, the groundbreaking anthology that breaks the silence about the long-term impact of childhood trauma so that parents can break the cycle of abuse. When she is not busy raising two rambunctious boys, she is most often found playing her guitar or covered in paint at her art desk. You can keep up with Joyelle at www.joyellebrandt.com.
http://breathingspacecounselling.ca/events/
Parwaaz - a parental education programme
Parwaaz is a first of its kind parental education programme in Pakistan which is introduced to Jamat based on Mawlana Hazar Imam’s guidance on Early Childhood Development (ECD).
The programme design builds upon the existing positive parental practices while introducing culturally and socially grounded new knowledge and skills for the parents and families of children aged six months to three years.
Parwaaz integrates various aspects of ECD including Health, Nutrition, Play, Cognitive Stimulation and Religious perspectives. These themes are woven throughout the programme which is divided into 13 sessions that are usually conducted in informal settings (such as Jamatkhanas) by volunteers trained for the purpose. Each session comprises of a variety of parent - child and child only activities including playing, singing, praying, reading together etc. that not only strengthens the parent-child bond but also influences children’s social, cognitive, emotional and physical development.
Video at:
https://the.ismaili/pakistan/parwaaz-pa ... -programme
Parwaaz is a first of its kind parental education programme in Pakistan which is introduced to Jamat based on Mawlana Hazar Imam’s guidance on Early Childhood Development (ECD).
The programme design builds upon the existing positive parental practices while introducing culturally and socially grounded new knowledge and skills for the parents and families of children aged six months to three years.
Parwaaz integrates various aspects of ECD including Health, Nutrition, Play, Cognitive Stimulation and Religious perspectives. These themes are woven throughout the programme which is divided into 13 sessions that are usually conducted in informal settings (such as Jamatkhanas) by volunteers trained for the purpose. Each session comprises of a variety of parent - child and child only activities including playing, singing, praying, reading together etc. that not only strengthens the parent-child bond but also influences children’s social, cognitive, emotional and physical development.
Video at:
https://the.ismaili/pakistan/parwaaz-pa ... -programme
Advice from a dismal scientist to new parents
“Cribsheet” by Emily Oster offers an instructive look at decision-making
For new parents, it is a terrifying moment. The hospital doors close behind them, leaving them with a new and helpless human being. The baby’s survival into adulthood seems impossible. What if it will not eat? What if it is allergic to water? What if an owl carries it off? Probably, few parents wish at that moment for the help of an economist. But “Cribsheet”, a new book by Emily Oster of Brown University, shows that in the hectic haze of parenthood an economist’s perspective can prove surprisingly clarifying.
Ms Oster’s academic work relates to health and health policy. A recent paper, for example, studied how food-purchasing decisions change in response to being diagnosed with diabetes. Five years ago she published a book on pregnancy, drawing on her training as an economist and her own experience (her husband, Jesse Shapiro, with whom she has two children, is also an economist at Brown). “Cribsheet” tackles the next step in the journey from childfree person to parent. Deciding whether to have a child in the first place fairly obviously involves economic calculations, from the impact on the parents’ earning potential to the resources that must be set aside to pay for nappies, child care and university. The decisions that come in a torrent after the birth, in contrast, such as whether to breastfeed or how to manage sleeping arrangements, might not seem so amenable to such thinking. But Ms Oster’s new book shows that they are.
More...
https://www.economist.com/finance-and-e ... ew-parents
“Cribsheet” by Emily Oster offers an instructive look at decision-making
For new parents, it is a terrifying moment. The hospital doors close behind them, leaving them with a new and helpless human being. The baby’s survival into adulthood seems impossible. What if it will not eat? What if it is allergic to water? What if an owl carries it off? Probably, few parents wish at that moment for the help of an economist. But “Cribsheet”, a new book by Emily Oster of Brown University, shows that in the hectic haze of parenthood an economist’s perspective can prove surprisingly clarifying.
Ms Oster’s academic work relates to health and health policy. A recent paper, for example, studied how food-purchasing decisions change in response to being diagnosed with diabetes. Five years ago she published a book on pregnancy, drawing on her training as an economist and her own experience (her husband, Jesse Shapiro, with whom she has two children, is also an economist at Brown). “Cribsheet” tackles the next step in the journey from childfree person to parent. Deciding whether to have a child in the first place fairly obviously involves economic calculations, from the impact on the parents’ earning potential to the resources that must be set aside to pay for nappies, child care and university. The decisions that come in a torrent after the birth, in contrast, such as whether to breastfeed or how to manage sleeping arrangements, might not seem so amenable to such thinking. But Ms Oster’s new book shows that they are.
More...
https://www.economist.com/finance-and-e ... ew-parents
How to End the Child-Care Crisis
A child’s first 1,000 days are a time to be seized.
Excerpt:
We know from breakthroughs in neuroscience that children’s brains are growing explosively during the first three years of life — developing more than one million neural connections a second. A child’s early brain architecture shapes all future learning and behavior. This is also the period in our lives when we are most vulnerable to trauma. Experiences like homelessness, forced family separation or exposure to violence inhibit a child’s ability to learn and form trusting relationships. By 24 months, many toddlers living in poverty show both behavioral and cognitive delays. Equally powerful, though, is the impact of an attuned parent or teacher who understands how to build loving, responsive relationships that can stimulate learning and repair the damage done by trauma.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/24/opin ... _th_190525
A child’s first 1,000 days are a time to be seized.
Excerpt:
We know from breakthroughs in neuroscience that children’s brains are growing explosively during the first three years of life — developing more than one million neural connections a second. A child’s early brain architecture shapes all future learning and behavior. This is also the period in our lives when we are most vulnerable to trauma. Experiences like homelessness, forced family separation or exposure to violence inhibit a child’s ability to learn and form trusting relationships. By 24 months, many toddlers living in poverty show both behavioral and cognitive delays. Equally powerful, though, is the impact of an attuned parent or teacher who understands how to build loving, responsive relationships that can stimulate learning and repair the damage done by trauma.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/24/opin ... _th_190525
Where a Miracle Substance Called Breast Milk Saves Lives
How breast-feeding transforms the lives of malnourished children in Guatemala and around the world.
CHICHALUM, Guatemala — Painted on the side of a health post in this rural town in Guatemala’s western highlands is a simple message: Breast-feeding is a lifelong gift.
But around the world, breast milk is a gift that many children are given incorrectly or not given at all — and the results are devastating. Health scholars report that a child dies more than once a minute somewhere in the world for lack of proper breast-feeding.
This isn’t the case in the United States, where debates about breast-feeding don’t normally involve child mortality. In rich countries where water is clean, a bottle is not lethal the way it sometimes is in poor countries.
In countries like this one, however, breast-feeding can make a vast difference. Consider Eva, a wide-eyed 14-month-old baby being treated for malnutrition at the Casa Jackson Hospital in Antigua, Guatemala.
Eva and her mother were homeless for the first three months of her life, says Rina Lazo Rodriguez, the director of the hospital, during which time Eva was fed soda or juice, braved the elements and faced unhygienic conditions.
Before being sent to Casa Jackson, Eva was hospitalized for pneumonia and diarrhea. Lazo Rodriguez attributes non-exclusive breast-feeding as one of the many factors that led to Eva’s malnourishment.
The lives of 823,000 children younger than five could be saved annually if we scaled up breast-feeding to near universal levels, according to estimates published in The Lancet breast-feeding series from 2016. Specifically, breast-feeding is linked with decreases in diarrhea, middle ear infections, and respiratory infections and increases in IQ and nutrition.
Babies don’t hog all the benefits of breast-feeding, either. The same analysis estimated that increasing the amount of time mothers breast-feed could prevent more than 22,000 breast cancer deaths each year. For mothers, some evidence also links breast-feeding to protection against ovarian cancer and type 2 diabetes.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/05/opin ... y_20190606
How breast-feeding transforms the lives of malnourished children in Guatemala and around the world.
CHICHALUM, Guatemala — Painted on the side of a health post in this rural town in Guatemala’s western highlands is a simple message: Breast-feeding is a lifelong gift.
But around the world, breast milk is a gift that many children are given incorrectly or not given at all — and the results are devastating. Health scholars report that a child dies more than once a minute somewhere in the world for lack of proper breast-feeding.
This isn’t the case in the United States, where debates about breast-feeding don’t normally involve child mortality. In rich countries where water is clean, a bottle is not lethal the way it sometimes is in poor countries.
In countries like this one, however, breast-feeding can make a vast difference. Consider Eva, a wide-eyed 14-month-old baby being treated for malnutrition at the Casa Jackson Hospital in Antigua, Guatemala.
Eva and her mother were homeless for the first three months of her life, says Rina Lazo Rodriguez, the director of the hospital, during which time Eva was fed soda or juice, braved the elements and faced unhygienic conditions.
Before being sent to Casa Jackson, Eva was hospitalized for pneumonia and diarrhea. Lazo Rodriguez attributes non-exclusive breast-feeding as one of the many factors that led to Eva’s malnourishment.
The lives of 823,000 children younger than five could be saved annually if we scaled up breast-feeding to near universal levels, according to estimates published in The Lancet breast-feeding series from 2016. Specifically, breast-feeding is linked with decreases in diarrhea, middle ear infections, and respiratory infections and increases in IQ and nutrition.
Babies don’t hog all the benefits of breast-feeding, either. The same analysis estimated that increasing the amount of time mothers breast-feed could prevent more than 22,000 breast cancer deaths each year. For mothers, some evidence also links breast-feeding to protection against ovarian cancer and type 2 diabetes.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/05/opin ... y_20190606
Aga Khan Education Board Canada - Webinars
1. Back to School for Parents
2. What Do I Do About Bullying
3. Raising Generations of Healthy Kids
4. Use of Technology in Schools
5. Graduate Studies Funding Strategies- GRST Webinar Series
6. What Parents Need to Know about Substance use
7. Faith & Practice in Early Years
More...
https://the.ismaili/canada/aga-khan-edu ... a-webinars
1. Back to School for Parents
2. What Do I Do About Bullying
3. Raising Generations of Healthy Kids
4. Use of Technology in Schools
5. Graduate Studies Funding Strategies- GRST Webinar Series
6. What Parents Need to Know about Substance use
7. Faith & Practice in Early Years
More...
https://the.ismaili/canada/aga-khan-edu ... a-webinars
Sweden Finds a Simple Way to Improve New Mothers’ Health. It Involves Fathers.
The flexibility to have an extra person at home, even for a few days, offers significant postpartum benefits, new research shows.
The weeks after a mother gives birth are a universally vulnerable period. She is recovering physically and mentally, while dealing with sleep deprivation, round-the-clock caregiving and possibly breast-feeding. Yet after a day or a few days in the hospital, she often doesn’t see a doctor for six weeks.
A new study suggests a way to make a significant difference in mothers’ postpartum health: Give the other parent paid leave, and the flexibility to use it on days the mother needs extra support, even if it just means a couple of days at home.
The researchers, Maya Rossin-Slater and Petra Persson, economists at Stanford, studied the effects of a 2012 Swedish law that allows fathers to take up to 30 days, as needed, in the year after a birth, while the mother is still on leave. In the first six months postpartum, there was a 26 percent decrease in anti-anxiety prescriptions compared with mothers who gave birth just before the policy went into effect. There was a 14 percent reduction in hospitalizations or visits to a specialist, and an 11 percent decrease in antibiotic prescriptions.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/04/upsh ... 3053090614
The flexibility to have an extra person at home, even for a few days, offers significant postpartum benefits, new research shows.
The weeks after a mother gives birth are a universally vulnerable period. She is recovering physically and mentally, while dealing with sleep deprivation, round-the-clock caregiving and possibly breast-feeding. Yet after a day or a few days in the hospital, she often doesn’t see a doctor for six weeks.
A new study suggests a way to make a significant difference in mothers’ postpartum health: Give the other parent paid leave, and the flexibility to use it on days the mother needs extra support, even if it just means a couple of days at home.
The researchers, Maya Rossin-Slater and Petra Persson, economists at Stanford, studied the effects of a 2012 Swedish law that allows fathers to take up to 30 days, as needed, in the year after a birth, while the mother is still on leave. In the first six months postpartum, there was a 26 percent decrease in anti-anxiety prescriptions compared with mothers who gave birth just before the policy went into effect. There was a 14 percent reduction in hospitalizations or visits to a specialist, and an 11 percent decrease in antibiotic prescriptions.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/04/upsh ... 3053090614
I’ve Picked My Job Over My Kids
I love them beyond all reason. But sometimes my clients need me more.
I am a lawyer, a law professor and a writer. I am also a divorced mother of two young children. I’m often asked some version of: “How do you excel at work and be the best mother you can be?”
Every working mother gets this question, which presupposes that a “work-life balance” is achievable. It’s not. The term traps women in an endless cycle of shame and self-recrimination.
Like many women, I often prioritize my job. I do this because, as the head of a single-parent household, I’m the sole breadwinner. My ex-husband, who has joint custody, is an amazing father and my life would be impossible without him. Neither of us pays the other support.
My choice is more than a financial imperative. I prioritize my work because I’m ambitious and because I believe it’s important. If I didn’t write and teach and litigate, a part of me would feel empty.
In 2013, I was the trial lawyer on a case to free an innocent black man improbably named Kash Register. As a teenager in 1979, because of police and prosecutorial misconduct and witnesses who lied, he was condemned to serve life in prison for a murder he did not commit.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/29/opin ... 3053090630
I love them beyond all reason. But sometimes my clients need me more.
I am a lawyer, a law professor and a writer. I am also a divorced mother of two young children. I’m often asked some version of: “How do you excel at work and be the best mother you can be?”
Every working mother gets this question, which presupposes that a “work-life balance” is achievable. It’s not. The term traps women in an endless cycle of shame and self-recrimination.
Like many women, I often prioritize my job. I do this because, as the head of a single-parent household, I’m the sole breadwinner. My ex-husband, who has joint custody, is an amazing father and my life would be impossible without him. Neither of us pays the other support.
My choice is more than a financial imperative. I prioritize my work because I’m ambitious and because I believe it’s important. If I didn’t write and teach and litigate, a part of me would feel empty.
In 2013, I was the trial lawyer on a case to free an innocent black man improbably named Kash Register. As a teenager in 1979, because of police and prosecutorial misconduct and witnesses who lied, he was condemned to serve life in prison for a murder he did not commit.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/29/opin ... 3053090630
Moms Who Cut Back at Work Are Happier
The doing-it-all discussion ignores the fact that the happiest women are making sacrifices at work to spend more time at home
Two facts are often obscured in the public conversation devoted to women, work, and family. First, the vast majority of married mothers don’t want to work full-time. Second, married mothers who are able to cut back at work to accommodate their family’s needs tend to be happier. The news cycle is stuck in a lean-in loop, but new data show mothers report more happiness when they can lean homeward.
New data from the recent Pew Research Center survey shared with The Atlantic tells the second part of the story. Mothers and fathers were asked by Pew if they had made family-related sacrifices for work—from quitting their job to turning down a promotion. Pew found that 65 percent of mothers had made such a family-related sacrifice, compared to 45 percent of fathers.
Women married with children were more likely to be “very happy” with their lives if they made a family-related work sacrifice. By contrast, the happiness of married men was not significantly related to making work sacrifices for their families.
More...
https://www.theatlantic.com/business/ar ... er/282460/
The doing-it-all discussion ignores the fact that the happiest women are making sacrifices at work to spend more time at home
Two facts are often obscured in the public conversation devoted to women, work, and family. First, the vast majority of married mothers don’t want to work full-time. Second, married mothers who are able to cut back at work to accommodate their family’s needs tend to be happier. The news cycle is stuck in a lean-in loop, but new data show mothers report more happiness when they can lean homeward.
New data from the recent Pew Research Center survey shared with The Atlantic tells the second part of the story. Mothers and fathers were asked by Pew if they had made family-related sacrifices for work—from quitting their job to turning down a promotion. Pew found that 65 percent of mothers had made such a family-related sacrifice, compared to 45 percent of fathers.
Women married with children were more likely to be “very happy” with their lives if they made a family-related work sacrifice. By contrast, the happiness of married men was not significantly related to making work sacrifices for their families.
More...
https://www.theatlantic.com/business/ar ... er/282460/
On the Parenting Journey
Being a parent is perhaps the most complex job in the world. It can be a challenging yet joyful experience. Nowadays, parents are surrounded by multiple questions regarding their children’s everyday life, health, education, and future. Should parents control their children’s use of technology? How can parents give due time and attention to their children while life pressures increase each day? How can parents set clear limits for their children with empathy and respect?
On many occasions, Mawlana Hazar Imam has suggested that the best way for the Jamat to prepare for unpredictability and change is to prioritise education. During a speech in Kenya in 2007 he said, “We sometimes give too little attention to the schools which prepare young children for life itself - in all of its holistic dimensions. And yet the evidence accumulates steadily showing that an investment made in the earliest, pre-school years can bring enormous dividends as a child proceeds from one level of education to another.”
Scientific research has demonstrated the highly positive long-term impact of a quality early childhood experience in ensuring better opportunities throughout children's lives. This has an effect on future employment opportunities, the relationships they form with others, their personalities, and values.
Worldwide, parents are expected to support their children to surf on the highest waves of societal change; to help them be autonomous; happy; responsible; confident, and altruistic. Many parents feel that they have to be perfect at all times. And yet the only training parents receive is to either replicate what they have learned from their own parents — even though they had often made the promise to do the opposite — or to respond intuitively to the unpredictable challenges of everyday life, challenges that did not exist when they were children themselves.
On the Parenting Journey (OPJ) is a programme developed by parents for parents, covering all stages of a child’s development, from early childhood through to the teenage years. It is tailored to meet the needs of today’s parents and offers a safe and confidential environment where parents can share, explore and discover new ways to respond to the challenges encountered along the parental journey. The programme was developed in the UK more than 30 years ago, and has since positively impacted thousands of families around the world. It has been offered in the UK, France, Cotê d’Ivoire, Tajikistan, and more recently, in Portugal.
The goals of the programme are manifold, and include an aim to educate and support parents and grandparents to raise children in emotionally healthy ways, enabling them to thrive in all aspects of their lives. This includes sharing the information and skills to help build healthy relationships, managing conflicts peacefully, and discovering children’s unique competencies, values, and aspirations.
The programme’s trainer, Rahman Michel Rener, an educational-psychologist, father, grandfather, teacher and mediator trainer, has been developing leadership and personal development programmes for teenagers and adults for the last 30 years in Europe, Africa, and Central Asia. He is passionate about OPJ, saying, “It’s not just a programme where we learn skills about how to deal with difficult behaviours, or manage challenging situations at home, but parents also become much more aware of their own feelings, and they can start responding to that in a very conscious way, rather than reacting to what happened in an action/reaction way, which is not useful. Then parents can help the children become more responsible and aware of the consequences of their actions, and therefore integrate the values that our faith promotes.“
In Portugal, the programme was spread across three episodes, and feedback from participants was heart-warming. Mother of two Soraia Jamal, who helped to organise the project said, “It was a tool that helped me acknowledge both mine and my children’s needs, emotions and behaviours. OPJ is not about learning a set of tools, changing children or developing my skills as a mother. It goes deeper than that. It has to do with a vision about children, parents and their relationship. It unfolds parenting as a magic, authentic journey in life.”
Over the course of three weekends in Lisbon, parents had the chance to explore 12 different topics covering themes such as expectations and anxieties, the role of communication, reflecting listening and feelings, appreciating ourselves and our feelings, being firm, gentle and congruent, amongst others.
Parent of two young boys, Farzana Carmali described the programme as “more than a parenting course. It is related to a bigger vision of the human being, which is deeply connected to the values of respect, love, honesty, and pluralism, which are fundamental in our faith. Participating in this programme gave me an opportunity to develop myself as a human being and to look at my children and the challenges of motherhood with a different lens. This is not a set of instructions to solve different situations, it’s a process - it unfolds and evolves everyday with every situation we encounter.”
Zaitun Hussaine, mother of four, thanked the organisers, the group, and her family that joined her on the journey, since it was one of greatest experiences she had recently, and a journey that resulted in happiness and growth. “It has created awareness about many issues surrounding me that I would not be aware of because we simply just don’t stop and take time to reflect.”
https://the.ismaili/our-stories/parenting-journey
Being a parent is perhaps the most complex job in the world. It can be a challenging yet joyful experience. Nowadays, parents are surrounded by multiple questions regarding their children’s everyday life, health, education, and future. Should parents control their children’s use of technology? How can parents give due time and attention to their children while life pressures increase each day? How can parents set clear limits for their children with empathy and respect?
On many occasions, Mawlana Hazar Imam has suggested that the best way for the Jamat to prepare for unpredictability and change is to prioritise education. During a speech in Kenya in 2007 he said, “We sometimes give too little attention to the schools which prepare young children for life itself - in all of its holistic dimensions. And yet the evidence accumulates steadily showing that an investment made in the earliest, pre-school years can bring enormous dividends as a child proceeds from one level of education to another.”
Scientific research has demonstrated the highly positive long-term impact of a quality early childhood experience in ensuring better opportunities throughout children's lives. This has an effect on future employment opportunities, the relationships they form with others, their personalities, and values.
Worldwide, parents are expected to support their children to surf on the highest waves of societal change; to help them be autonomous; happy; responsible; confident, and altruistic. Many parents feel that they have to be perfect at all times. And yet the only training parents receive is to either replicate what they have learned from their own parents — even though they had often made the promise to do the opposite — or to respond intuitively to the unpredictable challenges of everyday life, challenges that did not exist when they were children themselves.
On the Parenting Journey (OPJ) is a programme developed by parents for parents, covering all stages of a child’s development, from early childhood through to the teenage years. It is tailored to meet the needs of today’s parents and offers a safe and confidential environment where parents can share, explore and discover new ways to respond to the challenges encountered along the parental journey. The programme was developed in the UK more than 30 years ago, and has since positively impacted thousands of families around the world. It has been offered in the UK, France, Cotê d’Ivoire, Tajikistan, and more recently, in Portugal.
The goals of the programme are manifold, and include an aim to educate and support parents and grandparents to raise children in emotionally healthy ways, enabling them to thrive in all aspects of their lives. This includes sharing the information and skills to help build healthy relationships, managing conflicts peacefully, and discovering children’s unique competencies, values, and aspirations.
The programme’s trainer, Rahman Michel Rener, an educational-psychologist, father, grandfather, teacher and mediator trainer, has been developing leadership and personal development programmes for teenagers and adults for the last 30 years in Europe, Africa, and Central Asia. He is passionate about OPJ, saying, “It’s not just a programme where we learn skills about how to deal with difficult behaviours, or manage challenging situations at home, but parents also become much more aware of their own feelings, and they can start responding to that in a very conscious way, rather than reacting to what happened in an action/reaction way, which is not useful. Then parents can help the children become more responsible and aware of the consequences of their actions, and therefore integrate the values that our faith promotes.“
In Portugal, the programme was spread across three episodes, and feedback from participants was heart-warming. Mother of two Soraia Jamal, who helped to organise the project said, “It was a tool that helped me acknowledge both mine and my children’s needs, emotions and behaviours. OPJ is not about learning a set of tools, changing children or developing my skills as a mother. It goes deeper than that. It has to do with a vision about children, parents and their relationship. It unfolds parenting as a magic, authentic journey in life.”
Over the course of three weekends in Lisbon, parents had the chance to explore 12 different topics covering themes such as expectations and anxieties, the role of communication, reflecting listening and feelings, appreciating ourselves and our feelings, being firm, gentle and congruent, amongst others.
Parent of two young boys, Farzana Carmali described the programme as “more than a parenting course. It is related to a bigger vision of the human being, which is deeply connected to the values of respect, love, honesty, and pluralism, which are fundamental in our faith. Participating in this programme gave me an opportunity to develop myself as a human being and to look at my children and the challenges of motherhood with a different lens. This is not a set of instructions to solve different situations, it’s a process - it unfolds and evolves everyday with every situation we encounter.”
Zaitun Hussaine, mother of four, thanked the organisers, the group, and her family that joined her on the journey, since it was one of greatest experiences she had recently, and a journey that resulted in happiness and growth. “It has created awareness about many issues surrounding me that I would not be aware of because we simply just don’t stop and take time to reflect.”
https://the.ismaili/our-stories/parenting-journey
Warren Buffett: This is the No. 1 mistake parents make when teaching kids about money
If there’s one person who understands the importance of teaching kids about financial responsibility, it’s Warren Buffett.
Before he became CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, the legendary investor started a handful of small businesses — starting at age six, when he purchased a six-pack of Coke for 25 cents and sold each can for a nickel. He also sold magazines and gum from door to door.
“My dad was my greatest inspiration,” Buffett said in an interview with CNBC back in 2013. “What I learned at an early age from him was to have the right habits early. Savings was an important lesson he taught me.”
When asked what he thinks is the biggest mistake parents make when teaching their kids about money, the billionaire said, “Sometimes parents wait until their kids are in their teens before they start talking about managing money — when they could be starting when their kids are in preschool.”
Time is a factor
Yes, you read that right: Preschool. To Buffett’s point,researchers have noted that 80% of our brain growth happens by age 3.
One study from Cambridge University found that kids are already able to grasp basic money concepts between the ages of 3 and 4. And by age 7, basic concepts relating to future financial behaviors will typically have developed.
“Most parents already know how important it is to teach their kids about money and how to managing it properly,” Buffett acknowledged. But there’s a difference between knowing and taking action.
According to a 2018 survey from T. Rowe Price, which gathered responses from 1,014 parents (of children between the ages of 8 to 14) and more than 1,000 young adults (ages 18 to 24), only 4% of parents said they started discussing financial topics with their kids before the age of 5.
Thirty percent of parents started educating their kids about money at age 15 or older, while 14% said they never did at all.
Lessons Buffett taught his own kids
More....
https://www.cnbcafrica.com/news/special ... out-money/
If there’s one person who understands the importance of teaching kids about financial responsibility, it’s Warren Buffett.
Before he became CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, the legendary investor started a handful of small businesses — starting at age six, when he purchased a six-pack of Coke for 25 cents and sold each can for a nickel. He also sold magazines and gum from door to door.
“My dad was my greatest inspiration,” Buffett said in an interview with CNBC back in 2013. “What I learned at an early age from him was to have the right habits early. Savings was an important lesson he taught me.”
When asked what he thinks is the biggest mistake parents make when teaching their kids about money, the billionaire said, “Sometimes parents wait until their kids are in their teens before they start talking about managing money — when they could be starting when their kids are in preschool.”
Time is a factor
Yes, you read that right: Preschool. To Buffett’s point,researchers have noted that 80% of our brain growth happens by age 3.
One study from Cambridge University found that kids are already able to grasp basic money concepts between the ages of 3 and 4. And by age 7, basic concepts relating to future financial behaviors will typically have developed.
“Most parents already know how important it is to teach their kids about money and how to managing it properly,” Buffett acknowledged. But there’s a difference between knowing and taking action.
According to a 2018 survey from T. Rowe Price, which gathered responses from 1,014 parents (of children between the ages of 8 to 14) and more than 1,000 young adults (ages 18 to 24), only 4% of parents said they started discussing financial topics with their kids before the age of 5.
Thirty percent of parents started educating their kids about money at age 15 or older, while 14% said they never did at all.
Lessons Buffett taught his own kids
More....
https://www.cnbcafrica.com/news/special ... out-money/
Homeschooling moms in India – Interview with Sandhya
Our series about Homeschooling moms in India is an initiative to help all the parents who are confused about the whole process of homeschooling in India. Its great to see that there are many parents who are homeschooling their kids and are ready to share the inputs. We recently met Sandhya who is one such mom who not only is homeschooling her kids but helping other parents. She is an admin of two main groups related to schools and homeschooling in India.
Let’s get to know Sandhya and her journey as a homeschooling mom
Interview:
https://kreativemommy.com/homeschooling ... rce=Direct
******
Home-Schooling: Some Facts for Parents
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HSf4Pr ... D8Wb5/view
Our series about Homeschooling moms in India is an initiative to help all the parents who are confused about the whole process of homeschooling in India. Its great to see that there are many parents who are homeschooling their kids and are ready to share the inputs. We recently met Sandhya who is one such mom who not only is homeschooling her kids but helping other parents. She is an admin of two main groups related to schools and homeschooling in India.
Let’s get to know Sandhya and her journey as a homeschooling mom
Interview:
https://kreativemommy.com/homeschooling ... rce=Direct
******
Home-Schooling: Some Facts for Parents
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HSf4Pr ... D8Wb5/view
Digital Minimalism for Parents
One of the more interesting things about being on the road promoting Digital Minimalism is encountering readers and learning how they’re making use of these ideas.
One such group that’s particularly interesting to me is digital minimalist parents. I’m a parent, but the oldest of my three boys is only six, so I haven’t yet directly grappled with the serious issues surrounding kids in an age of smartphones, making me eager to hear from those who are waging this battle now.
As I’ve talked with more of these parents, a consistent reality has emerged:
Smartphones and social media are a major problem for adolescents. To ignore it with a “kids these days” shoulder shrug is becoming increasingly unacceptable. (For more on this, see my somewhat infamous interview with GQ where I speculatively compare teenage smartphone use to teenage smoking.)
Any successful attempt to instill in your kids a healthier relationship with technology has to start with modeling this relationship in your own life.
This latter point is one that we parents sometimes don’t want to hear, but it keeps coming up in my conversations: if you carry your phone with you at all times, checking it constantly, it’s difficult to convince your kids not to do the same, no matter how many rules you set or warnings you deliver.
More....
http://www.calnewport.com/blog/2019/03/ ... r-parents/
One of the more interesting things about being on the road promoting Digital Minimalism is encountering readers and learning how they’re making use of these ideas.
One such group that’s particularly interesting to me is digital minimalist parents. I’m a parent, but the oldest of my three boys is only six, so I haven’t yet directly grappled with the serious issues surrounding kids in an age of smartphones, making me eager to hear from those who are waging this battle now.
As I’ve talked with more of these parents, a consistent reality has emerged:
Smartphones and social media are a major problem for adolescents. To ignore it with a “kids these days” shoulder shrug is becoming increasingly unacceptable. (For more on this, see my somewhat infamous interview with GQ where I speculatively compare teenage smartphone use to teenage smoking.)
Any successful attempt to instill in your kids a healthier relationship with technology has to start with modeling this relationship in your own life.
This latter point is one that we parents sometimes don’t want to hear, but it keeps coming up in my conversations: if you carry your phone with you at all times, checking it constantly, it’s difficult to convince your kids not to do the same, no matter how many rules you set or warnings you deliver.
More....
http://www.calnewport.com/blog/2019/03/ ... r-parents/
NEW: Ismaili Ignition launches interview series: 'Ismaili Families Speak!'
In this series, we'll be talking to parents -- both in the West and East -- about raising their children as Ismailis, including the challenges they face and solutions they've tried. We hope their insights will help other parents facing similar challenges.
More and first interview at:
https://ismailidigest.org/2019/09/16/ne ... rce=Direct
In this series, we'll be talking to parents -- both in the West and East -- about raising their children as Ismailis, including the challenges they face and solutions they've tried. We hope their insights will help other parents facing similar challenges.
More and first interview at:
https://ismailidigest.org/2019/09/16/ne ... rce=Direct
Your Kids Could Save Our Warming World
Yes, you should have children. And you should raise them to use their talents for the planet’s good.
Many would-be parents in the millennial generation worry that bringing a child into this world might, in its effects, serve as a choice for more consumption, waste and damage to the planet. Others wonder whether the children conceived now might face a fate somehow worse than nonexistence in future years — a fate involving planetary apocalypse or catastrophe — and they don’t want to bring children into that future.
These fears have developed into an argument that suggests it is morally irresponsible to have kids (or at least to have too many). Indeed, at the Democratic presidential candidates’ climate change town hall, Bernie Sanders was asked about “the need to curb population growth,” suggesting that dissuading mothers around the world from having more children is a necessity for dealing with climate change.
I understand that, since the humans we bring into this world will also consume resources, there can be some fear among millennials that having children will make the problem of climate change worse. Still, I have made the choice to procreate — I have two daughters — even though I am concerned about climate change. And it’s important to argue for children and their parents and for the essential role they can both play in this urgent work of planetwide stewardship going forward.
The act of creation is opposed to the act of consumption: The latter suggests that everything exists to serve our needs and appetites, but the other reminds us of the value and goodness inherent in things themselves, and how creation encourages stewardship and responsibility.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/19/opin ... d=45305309
Yes, you should have children. And you should raise them to use their talents for the planet’s good.
Many would-be parents in the millennial generation worry that bringing a child into this world might, in its effects, serve as a choice for more consumption, waste and damage to the planet. Others wonder whether the children conceived now might face a fate somehow worse than nonexistence in future years — a fate involving planetary apocalypse or catastrophe — and they don’t want to bring children into that future.
These fears have developed into an argument that suggests it is morally irresponsible to have kids (or at least to have too many). Indeed, at the Democratic presidential candidates’ climate change town hall, Bernie Sanders was asked about “the need to curb population growth,” suggesting that dissuading mothers around the world from having more children is a necessity for dealing with climate change.
I understand that, since the humans we bring into this world will also consume resources, there can be some fear among millennials that having children will make the problem of climate change worse. Still, I have made the choice to procreate — I have two daughters — even though I am concerned about climate change. And it’s important to argue for children and their parents and for the essential role they can both play in this urgent work of planetwide stewardship going forward.
The act of creation is opposed to the act of consumption: The latter suggests that everything exists to serve our needs and appetites, but the other reminds us of the value and goodness inherent in things themselves, and how creation encourages stewardship and responsibility.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/19/opin ... d=45305309
Kids of Helicopter Parents Are Sputtering Out
Recent studies suggests that kids with overinvolved parents and rigidly structured childhoods suffer psychological blowback in college.
Excerpted from How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims, out now from Henry Holt and Co.
Academically overbearing parents are doing great harm. So says Bill Deresiewicz in his groundbreaking 2014 manifesto Excellent Sheep: The Miseducation of the American Elite and the Way to a Meaningful Life. “[For students] haunted their whole lives by a fear of failure—often, in the first instance, by their parents’ fear of failure,” writes Deresiewicz, “the cost of falling short, even temporarily, becomes not merely practical, but existential.”
Those whom Deresiewicz calls “excellent sheep” I call the “existentially impotent.” From 2006 to 2008, I served on Stanford University’s mental health task force, which examined the problem of student depression and proposed ways to teach faculty, staff, and students to better understand, notice, and respond to mental health issues. As dean, I saw a lack of intellectual and emotional freedom—this existential impotence—behind closed doors. The “excellent sheep” were in my office. Often brilliant, always accomplished, these students would sit on my couch holding their fragile, brittle parts together, resigned to the fact that these outwardly successful situations were their miserable lives.
More...
https://slate.com/human-interest/2015/0 ... xiety.html
*****
The Fragile Generation
Bad policy and paranoid parenting are making kids too safe to succeed.
Excerpt:
The principle here is simple: This generation of kids must be protected like none other. They can't use tools, they can't play on grass, and they certainly can't be expected to work through a spat with a friend.
More...
https://reason.com/2017/10/26/the-fragile-generation/
Recent studies suggests that kids with overinvolved parents and rigidly structured childhoods suffer psychological blowback in college.
Excerpted from How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims, out now from Henry Holt and Co.
Academically overbearing parents are doing great harm. So says Bill Deresiewicz in his groundbreaking 2014 manifesto Excellent Sheep: The Miseducation of the American Elite and the Way to a Meaningful Life. “[For students] haunted their whole lives by a fear of failure—often, in the first instance, by their parents’ fear of failure,” writes Deresiewicz, “the cost of falling short, even temporarily, becomes not merely practical, but existential.”
Those whom Deresiewicz calls “excellent sheep” I call the “existentially impotent.” From 2006 to 2008, I served on Stanford University’s mental health task force, which examined the problem of student depression and proposed ways to teach faculty, staff, and students to better understand, notice, and respond to mental health issues. As dean, I saw a lack of intellectual and emotional freedom—this existential impotence—behind closed doors. The “excellent sheep” were in my office. Often brilliant, always accomplished, these students would sit on my couch holding their fragile, brittle parts together, resigned to the fact that these outwardly successful situations were their miserable lives.
More...
https://slate.com/human-interest/2015/0 ... xiety.html
*****
The Fragile Generation
Bad policy and paranoid parenting are making kids too safe to succeed.
Excerpt:
The principle here is simple: This generation of kids must be protected like none other. They can't use tools, they can't play on grass, and they certainly can't be expected to work through a spat with a friend.
More...
https://reason.com/2017/10/26/the-fragile-generation/
Why parents should think twice about tracking apps for their kids
The use of self-tracking and personal surveillance technologies has grown considerably over the last decade. There are now apps to monitor people’s movement, health, mindfulness, sleep, eating habits and even sexual activity.
Some of the more thorny problems arise from apps designed to track others, like those made for parents to track their kids. For example, there are specific apps that allow parents to monitor their child’s GPS location, who they call, what they text, which apps they use, what they view online and the phone number of their contacts.
As a bioethicist who specializes in the ethics of emerging technologies, I worry that such tracking technologies are transforming prudent parenting into surveillance parenting.
Here are three reasons why.
Companies are tracking for profit
Risks of leaking private data
It can break trust
Details and more....
https://massivesci.com/articles/trackin ... C+together
The use of self-tracking and personal surveillance technologies has grown considerably over the last decade. There are now apps to monitor people’s movement, health, mindfulness, sleep, eating habits and even sexual activity.
Some of the more thorny problems arise from apps designed to track others, like those made for parents to track their kids. For example, there are specific apps that allow parents to monitor their child’s GPS location, who they call, what they text, which apps they use, what they view online and the phone number of their contacts.
As a bioethicist who specializes in the ethics of emerging technologies, I worry that such tracking technologies are transforming prudent parenting into surveillance parenting.
Here are three reasons why.
Companies are tracking for profit
Risks of leaking private data
It can break trust
Details and more....
https://massivesci.com/articles/trackin ... C+together
Book
Mother, No Other Like Her Paperback – April 25, 2019
This book is a collection of illustrations and loving thoughts that pays tribute to mothers and mother figures everywhere. Specially illustrated as a coloring book for all ages, it is designed to inspire creativity, gratitude, reflection, and artistic fulfillment. The heart-warming images coupled with reflective words is a reminder of how special all mothers are in our lives.
Review
"Mother, No Other Like Her is perfection! Not only do the words capture the true beauty of motherhood but the imagery is breath-taking. Every page elicits an emotion of love and selflessness. It's a great book for mothers to remind themselves of their power and for their kids to reflect on the efforts of their mothers as they bring the pages to life with colour!"
-Mommonality, Motherhood Blog
"A colouring book with so much meaning and love is what you can expect from Mother, No Other Like Her. You can't help but relate and/or feel the empowering words written about mothers."
-Momma Braga, Parenting Blog
"A beautiful book celebrating the love mothers have for their children! Showing mothers in many cultures enjoying their children, the illustrations and text are uplifting and heartwarming."
-Sarah Lampson, Author of Steer Your Career: A Research Administrator's Manual for Mapping Success.
https://www.amazon.com/Mother-No-Other- ... 1999111907
Mother, No Other Like Her Paperback – April 25, 2019
This book is a collection of illustrations and loving thoughts that pays tribute to mothers and mother figures everywhere. Specially illustrated as a coloring book for all ages, it is designed to inspire creativity, gratitude, reflection, and artistic fulfillment. The heart-warming images coupled with reflective words is a reminder of how special all mothers are in our lives.
Review
"Mother, No Other Like Her is perfection! Not only do the words capture the true beauty of motherhood but the imagery is breath-taking. Every page elicits an emotion of love and selflessness. It's a great book for mothers to remind themselves of their power and for their kids to reflect on the efforts of their mothers as they bring the pages to life with colour!"
-Mommonality, Motherhood Blog
"A colouring book with so much meaning and love is what you can expect from Mother, No Other Like Her. You can't help but relate and/or feel the empowering words written about mothers."
-Momma Braga, Parenting Blog
"A beautiful book celebrating the love mothers have for their children! Showing mothers in many cultures enjoying their children, the illustrations and text are uplifting and heartwarming."
-Sarah Lampson, Author of Steer Your Career: A Research Administrator's Manual for Mapping Success.
https://www.amazon.com/Mother-No-Other- ... 1999111907
10 Widely-Believed Myths About Pregnancy
Slide show:
https://www.msn.com/en-ca/health/medica ... ut#image=1
Slide show:
https://www.msn.com/en-ca/health/medica ... ut#image=1
7 Reasons Why Girls Need A Strong Father
In a world where female empowerment revolves around denouncing masculinity, we tend to overlook the crucial role men play in society and fail to recognize how much a young girl needs a strong father.
A girl needs a strong guiding force, a father who shapes her young mind and helps her attain a life of stability, acceptance, and genuine love. Her sense of worth is rooted in him. Don't think so? A 2018 psychological study found that more than half of female inmates came from a father-absent home.
We are regularly fed false information on the toxicity of masculinity and how threatening it is to women and their success. We've been conditioned to question the impact of a man in our life and fail to realize how our father's behavior strongly impacts our development and well-being.
It's no coincidence that since society has abandoned traditional values and roles, we have seen an outpouring of self-love campaigns. It's not because women are now more empowered, but rather their self-love and self-worth are diminishing.
1. His devotion and discipline sets us up for success
2. His approval affects our self-esteem
3. His affection determines our modesty
4. His behavior toward women affects our self-respect
5. His devotion to us will help define our relationships
6. His emotional fulfillment helps us to avoid emotional dependency.
7. He teaches us not to settle
Details and more...
https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/7-rea ... ng-father/
In a world where female empowerment revolves around denouncing masculinity, we tend to overlook the crucial role men play in society and fail to recognize how much a young girl needs a strong father.
A girl needs a strong guiding force, a father who shapes her young mind and helps her attain a life of stability, acceptance, and genuine love. Her sense of worth is rooted in him. Don't think so? A 2018 psychological study found that more than half of female inmates came from a father-absent home.
We are regularly fed false information on the toxicity of masculinity and how threatening it is to women and their success. We've been conditioned to question the impact of a man in our life and fail to realize how our father's behavior strongly impacts our development and well-being.
It's no coincidence that since society has abandoned traditional values and roles, we have seen an outpouring of self-love campaigns. It's not because women are now more empowered, but rather their self-love and self-worth are diminishing.
1. His devotion and discipline sets us up for success
2. His approval affects our self-esteem
3. His affection determines our modesty
4. His behavior toward women affects our self-respect
5. His devotion to us will help define our relationships
6. His emotional fulfillment helps us to avoid emotional dependency.
7. He teaches us not to settle
Details and more...
https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/7-rea ... ng-father/
How Parents Can Protect Kids From Porn Without Moving To A Secluded Mountain
Access to porn is everywhere, and that's terrifying to parents. But being proactive with your children can open lines of communication and help protect kids from the Internet's snares.
When you become a parent, you immediately begin to worry about all sorts of things. Formula or breastfeeding, best and safest car seats, the balance of child care versus stay-at-home parenting, sleep training, when to introduce solids, vaccines. Porn probably doesn’t top that list.
Or at least it didn’t until last week, when a series of articles across the Internet brought to light the pervasive, horrifying, and all-too-common modern problem of preteens accessing hardcore porn online. Right now, if your social media and friends circles are anything like mine, discussions are monopolized with parents talking about smartphones, how to protect kids, if this is really as widespread as these articles imply, and how on Earth we got to this point.
More...
https://thefederalist.com/2019/12/20/ho ... rce=Direct
Access to porn is everywhere, and that's terrifying to parents. But being proactive with your children can open lines of communication and help protect kids from the Internet's snares.
When you become a parent, you immediately begin to worry about all sorts of things. Formula or breastfeeding, best and safest car seats, the balance of child care versus stay-at-home parenting, sleep training, when to introduce solids, vaccines. Porn probably doesn’t top that list.
Or at least it didn’t until last week, when a series of articles across the Internet brought to light the pervasive, horrifying, and all-too-common modern problem of preteens accessing hardcore porn online. Right now, if your social media and friends circles are anything like mine, discussions are monopolized with parents talking about smartphones, how to protect kids, if this is really as widespread as these articles imply, and how on Earth we got to this point.
More...
https://thefederalist.com/2019/12/20/ho ... rce=Direct
Every Moment With My Son Is an Act of Creation
Now we have written a book together.
Excerpt:
I was terrified of becoming a father because I did not know whether I could find the time, or the love, to spare. All my extra time went to my writing, which was my act of creativity. I expected that a child would be an enormous consumer of both time and love. What I did not expect was that a child, my son, would do more than demand; he would teach me — unintentionally, by his existence — how to love and how to give of my time, the one thing I did not want to share.
I not only played a role in creating a child, I also discovered that fatherhood recreated me by forcing me to recognize that the creation of a child did not stop at birth. Every moment with my son is a part of this act of creation, and of creativity.
All the time that my father could not spend with me, I spend with my son. Perhaps it was predictable, being the son of a writer, that he became a strong reader. Far less predictable was that we would become a father-son duo.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/01/opin ... 0920200102
Now we have written a book together.
Excerpt:
I was terrified of becoming a father because I did not know whether I could find the time, or the love, to spare. All my extra time went to my writing, which was my act of creativity. I expected that a child would be an enormous consumer of both time and love. What I did not expect was that a child, my son, would do more than demand; he would teach me — unintentionally, by his existence — how to love and how to give of my time, the one thing I did not want to share.
I not only played a role in creating a child, I also discovered that fatherhood recreated me by forcing me to recognize that the creation of a child did not stop at birth. Every moment with my son is a part of this act of creation, and of creativity.
All the time that my father could not spend with me, I spend with my son. Perhaps it was predictable, being the son of a writer, that he became a strong reader. Far less predictable was that we would become a father-son duo.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/01/opin ... 0920200102
The prospect of parenthood makes people more law-abiding
Pregnancy prompts mums- and dads-to-be to change their ways
ALMOST ANY parent will agree that once you have a child, life is never quite the same again. Having to provide for another, utterly dependent, human being can spur new mums and dads to find reserves of generosity, care and energy they never knew they had. A new paper by Maxim Massenkoff and Evan Rose, two economics PhD students at the University of California, Berkeley, suggests that the very prospect of becoming a parent makes them much more law-abiding, too.
Using data on over 1m babies born in Washington state between 1996 and 2009, and on thousands of crimes committed there between 1992 and 2015, the authors find that when women become pregnant, they are much less likely to be arrested, for a wide range of crimes. The effect is most marked for “economic” crimes, such as theft and burglary, but is also true of assaults, vandalism and alcohol and drug offences. Arrest rates fall by 50% almost as soon as women become pregnant and fall much further as the pregnancy goes on. Although they bounce back somewhat after childbirth, they stabilise at about half pre-pregnancy levels.
Charts and more...
https://www.economist.com/graphic-detai ... a/373010/n
Pregnancy prompts mums- and dads-to-be to change their ways
ALMOST ANY parent will agree that once you have a child, life is never quite the same again. Having to provide for another, utterly dependent, human being can spur new mums and dads to find reserves of generosity, care and energy they never knew they had. A new paper by Maxim Massenkoff and Evan Rose, two economics PhD students at the University of California, Berkeley, suggests that the very prospect of becoming a parent makes them much more law-abiding, too.
Using data on over 1m babies born in Washington state between 1996 and 2009, and on thousands of crimes committed there between 1992 and 2015, the authors find that when women become pregnant, they are much less likely to be arrested, for a wide range of crimes. The effect is most marked for “economic” crimes, such as theft and burglary, but is also true of assaults, vandalism and alcohol and drug offences. Arrest rates fall by 50% almost as soon as women become pregnant and fall much further as the pregnancy goes on. Although they bounce back somewhat after childbirth, they stabilise at about half pre-pregnancy levels.
Charts and more...
https://www.economist.com/graphic-detai ... a/373010/n
JollyGul.com: Kids Zone Launched
JollyGul.com is planning to roll out a variety of engaging content on its multimedia platform in 2020 catering specifically to the needs of children of different age groups in the community.
As a first step, it has launched a “Kids Zone” section on their website where nursery rhymes and kids’ devotional songs (composed and sung by different community artists) can be easily accessed and played by parents and children.
“Kids Zone” can be accessed by clicking on the link below.
https://www.jollygul.com/kids-zone/
JollyGul.com is planning to roll out a variety of engaging content on its multimedia platform in 2020 catering specifically to the needs of children of different age groups in the community.
As a first step, it has launched a “Kids Zone” section on their website where nursery rhymes and kids’ devotional songs (composed and sung by different community artists) can be easily accessed and played by parents and children.
“Kids Zone” can be accessed by clicking on the link below.
https://www.jollygul.com/kids-zone/
Baitul Ilm Teacher Shairoz Sharma shines as an author
Shairoz Sharma has been working at Baitul Ilms for close to 15 years across London, France and Leicester. Her ambitions in religious teaching started at the young age of 17 in Leicester. “We specifically taught nursery students on Friday evenings in Leicester.”
On a day-to-day basis, Shairoz describes herself as “an author and a mum.” In 2019 she launched her first children’s book last year called ‘Shine Brighter’ – “ it can equally be a good read for the older age group and even parents who are working towards embedding and nurturing good values in their children.”
This book was first published in the USA, in July 2018 and has recently been published in London for access to the UK audience.
“Shine Brighter is all about life lessons that we keep going back to again and again. It’s about trust, being true to yourself, friendship, brotherhood, helping each other and making our world a happy place for everyone around us.” Shairoz believes these values although simple are incredibly important in today’s world.
“Hazar Imam frequently talks about these values and this is where I got my inspiration from. I thought to translate those values into simple stories for children and inspire them to make those values a part of their daily living.”
Nurturing good values in children is at the core of Shairoz's work, and she uses stories as a tool to invite that dialogue between children, parents and the wider community. “I believe stories provide the best medium to share knowledge and wisdom with children. My book is not just for the children within our community, but I want to reach out to the children globally to collectively make our world a prosperous place for everyone.”
Her role as a Baitul Ilm teacher only reflects her dedication to the community and early childhood schooling, “I feel as adults, we have a big responsibility towards helping children. Through us, they can learn life lessons and some very abstract concepts like intuitions.”
For Shairoz, teaching is a reciprocal relationship, one where teachers often learn a lot more from students. In her eyes children are knowledgeable and “as teachers we can help them to identify their potentials to grow as successful individuals.”
Shine Brighter is just the first book for Shairoz, and she plans on writing more books for various audiences in the future focusing on social issues such as gender equality, human rights and life skills. She currently has a book ready for publishing in the near future. In addition to this, she continues her work as a Baitul Ilm teacher.
“I feel very fulfilled when I am teaching. As teachers we have a duty of care. I would like children to grow up as confident individuals and walk with their heads high.”
https://the.ismaili/united-kingdom/bait ... nes-author
Shairoz Sharma has been working at Baitul Ilms for close to 15 years across London, France and Leicester. Her ambitions in religious teaching started at the young age of 17 in Leicester. “We specifically taught nursery students on Friday evenings in Leicester.”
On a day-to-day basis, Shairoz describes herself as “an author and a mum.” In 2019 she launched her first children’s book last year called ‘Shine Brighter’ – “ it can equally be a good read for the older age group and even parents who are working towards embedding and nurturing good values in their children.”
This book was first published in the USA, in July 2018 and has recently been published in London for access to the UK audience.
“Shine Brighter is all about life lessons that we keep going back to again and again. It’s about trust, being true to yourself, friendship, brotherhood, helping each other and making our world a happy place for everyone around us.” Shairoz believes these values although simple are incredibly important in today’s world.
“Hazar Imam frequently talks about these values and this is where I got my inspiration from. I thought to translate those values into simple stories for children and inspire them to make those values a part of their daily living.”
Nurturing good values in children is at the core of Shairoz's work, and she uses stories as a tool to invite that dialogue between children, parents and the wider community. “I believe stories provide the best medium to share knowledge and wisdom with children. My book is not just for the children within our community, but I want to reach out to the children globally to collectively make our world a prosperous place for everyone.”
Her role as a Baitul Ilm teacher only reflects her dedication to the community and early childhood schooling, “I feel as adults, we have a big responsibility towards helping children. Through us, they can learn life lessons and some very abstract concepts like intuitions.”
For Shairoz, teaching is a reciprocal relationship, one where teachers often learn a lot more from students. In her eyes children are knowledgeable and “as teachers we can help them to identify their potentials to grow as successful individuals.”
Shine Brighter is just the first book for Shairoz, and she plans on writing more books for various audiences in the future focusing on social issues such as gender equality, human rights and life skills. She currently has a book ready for publishing in the near future. In addition to this, she continues her work as a Baitul Ilm teacher.
“I feel very fulfilled when I am teaching. As teachers we have a duty of care. I would like children to grow up as confident individuals and walk with their heads high.”
https://the.ismaili/united-kingdom/bait ... nes-author
New Brain Scans Show Screen Time Makes Kids Dumber
Concentrated white matter invariably results in better cognitive performance in the kids who stay off screens: they focus better, learn faster, and show greater mental flexibility and creativity.
Scientists recently published images of brain scans on young children that demonstrate the effects of reading versus using screens. In the scans of children who spent more time with books than screens (less than an hour of screen time a day), there was a concentration of white matter focused in the center of the brain. For the scans of children who spent more time with screens (more than an hour a day), this white matter was scattered.
This is significant because white matter makes up the brain’s neural connections, serving as pathways for brain activity. The more concentrated the white matter, the faster thoughts and commands travel. When white matter is diffused, this activity is slowed down. As a result, brains with concentrated white matter do more work and do it faster (like a computer with a faster processor) while brains with diffused white matter operate at a lower capacity.
As one would expect, concentrated white matter invariably results in better cognitive performance in the kids who stay off screens: they focus better, learn faster, and show greater mental flexibility and creativity. While this doesn’t necessarily mean hitting milestones (like walking, talking, etc.) earlier, it does mean that the general groundwork is set for more complex tasks that young children encounter in the first years of school.
They will socialize more easily, follow directions more closely, and acquire basic academic skills like reading, computation, and memorization faster and with greater depth. By contrast, their screen-addled peers will struggle with all these tasks, act out and misbehave, and often require early intervention and medication.
Taken even further, this difference can become more pronounced over time. As writer Malcolm Gladwell demonstrates in his prominent book “Outliers,” young children who show great promise early in life are more likely to have more opportunities for practice and instruction over the course of their lives than those who show less promise.
More...
https://thefederalist.com/2020/01/30/ne ... ds-dumber/
Concentrated white matter invariably results in better cognitive performance in the kids who stay off screens: they focus better, learn faster, and show greater mental flexibility and creativity.
Scientists recently published images of brain scans on young children that demonstrate the effects of reading versus using screens. In the scans of children who spent more time with books than screens (less than an hour of screen time a day), there was a concentration of white matter focused in the center of the brain. For the scans of children who spent more time with screens (more than an hour a day), this white matter was scattered.
This is significant because white matter makes up the brain’s neural connections, serving as pathways for brain activity. The more concentrated the white matter, the faster thoughts and commands travel. When white matter is diffused, this activity is slowed down. As a result, brains with concentrated white matter do more work and do it faster (like a computer with a faster processor) while brains with diffused white matter operate at a lower capacity.
As one would expect, concentrated white matter invariably results in better cognitive performance in the kids who stay off screens: they focus better, learn faster, and show greater mental flexibility and creativity. While this doesn’t necessarily mean hitting milestones (like walking, talking, etc.) earlier, it does mean that the general groundwork is set for more complex tasks that young children encounter in the first years of school.
They will socialize more easily, follow directions more closely, and acquire basic academic skills like reading, computation, and memorization faster and with greater depth. By contrast, their screen-addled peers will struggle with all these tasks, act out and misbehave, and often require early intervention and medication.
Taken even further, this difference can become more pronounced over time. As writer Malcolm Gladwell demonstrates in his prominent book “Outliers,” young children who show great promise early in life are more likely to have more opportunities for practice and instruction over the course of their lives than those who show less promise.
More...
https://thefederalist.com/2020/01/30/ne ... ds-dumber/