YAM
I am a married person, since my early marriage days my sex for my wife has been lost, but when I imagine somebody else it turned out to be fine, so when i want to do sex with my wife, i would have to imagine someone else to make her feel satisfied.
I don't know what religion says about this kind of imagination while making sex with my wife.
This is really serious problem for me, and i am very much depressed due to this imagination thing and i really want to know is this right "religiously" if not then what should be done on those kind of circumstances. I would really need some en-lighted person or scholar to help me on this.
Lost Sex for my Wife After Marraige
YAM
I am a married person, since my early marriage days my sex for my wife has been lost, but when I imagine somebody else it turned out to be fine, so when i want to do sex with my wife, i would have to imagine someone else to make her feel satisfied.
I don't know what religion says about this kind of imagination while making sex with my wife.
This is really serious problem for me, and i am very much depressed due to this imagination thing and i really want to know is this right "religiously" if not then what should be done on those kind of circumstances. I would really need some en-lighted person or scholar to help me on this.
30:21 (Y. Ali) And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.
1. The first and worthiest condition of marriage to be fulfilled by the husband is to "keep the promise or promises he made to the wife at the time he married her." This is an order of the Prophet [salla Allahu `alayhi wa alihi wa sallam, abbr. (s)] according to the hadith: "ahaqqu al-shuruti an tufu bihi ma astahlaltum bihi min al-furuj"
2. He cannot order her to do anything that is against religion. The Prophet (s) said: "No obedience is due to creatures in disobedience of the Creator" (la ta`atan li makhluqin fi ma`siyat al-khaliq).
3. He must exercise patience and be prepared to listen to her advice in every situation. The Prophet (s) listened to the advice of his wives in matters ranging from the smallest to the greatest.
4. He must respect her and pay attention to her needs so that she will respect him and pay attention to his.
5. He must control his passions and act in a moderate manner especially in the context of sexual intercourse. Remember that Allah has placed between you and her "friendship and mercy" (mawadda wa rahma), not the gratification of your every lust; and that the Prophet (s) advised young men to marry "because it casts down the gaze and walls up the genitals," not in order to stimulate sexual passions. The husband should habitually seek refuge in Allah before approaching his wife and say: "O Allah, ward off the satan from us and ward him off from what you have bestowed upon us in the way of children" (allahumma jannibna al-shaytana wa jannibhu ma razaqtana). Allah has called each spouse a garment for the other (2:187), and the purpose of garments is decency. The Prophet (s) further said that he who marries for the sake of decency and modesty (`afaf), Allah has enjoined upon Himself to help him.
6. He must not dwell on what he dislikes in his wife, but on what he likes.
7. Caring for one's wife's sexual fulfillment is an obligation of religion. The Prophet (s) warned against rushing to gratify one's pleasure and forgetting that of one's wife. He also disliked that the husband should quickly withdraw from his wife afterwards, as it is a strain upon the wife. If she asks for intercourse, he should not refuse.
hope you got your answer
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checking123
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Sun May 24, 2009 12:11 am
dear divine786,
Unfortunately, that didn't answered my question, my question is that; can we imagine somebody else while having sex the wife because I have lost sexual feelings for my wife, but can I Imagine someone else while having sex with my wife ? not for my lust but for her ?
instead of imagining somebody else why dont you tell your wife to dress/act/walk like that imaginary woman of yours, dont forget that she's your property and vice versa
just think what attracts you the most and share it with your wife
inshort, put your imagination to work on your wife
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checking123
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Sun May 24, 2009 12:11 am
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shiraz.virani
- Posts: 1256
- Joined: Thu May 28, 2009 2:52 pm
Shiraz, I think, you are making him feel even more down, that won’t help him feel more attracted to his wife...Don’t put yourself in anybody’s position...stay in your own position...and just tell your wife exactly how you feel...you shouldn’t lie or hide this type of things from your spouse, it is not fair to her and yourself and can lead to more problems...you should discuss it honestly and sincerely with each other for the sake of your marriage. You two might have to contact a marriage counsellor ...hopefully that helps you out and if not then you should not be in this relationship...good luck.
Damn! I just passed my first marriage counselling test...didn’t I?
Damn! I just passed my first marriage counselling test...didn’t I?
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shiraz.virani
- Posts: 1256
- Joined: Thu May 28, 2009 2:52 pm
