Diary of a non-Ismaili Spouse:
On Monday Nov 24, His Highness - the Aga Khan came to give Deedar (see) to his murids (followers) in the Round-up centre in Calgary. My husband Faizal all well as the whole Ismaili community were waiting for him in great anticipation. There were HUGE celebrations - food, music, dancing, prayers - all going on for days before his arrival. On the day OF, Faizal, Alif and I dressed in our best & went to the Round-up centre which seemed to have completely transformed from grey concrete walls and floors to plush soft beige carpet, shiny white curtains and even great big chandeliers on the ceilings of the Darbar Hall (Hall a, b & C of the round-up centre). And a great big throne in the middle of the Hall where the Imam was supposed to be seated. Being the non-Ismaili spouse, I wasn't allowed to go in the hall - it was only reserved for Ismailis - I just got to peek inside the Hall.
We - the non-Ismaili spouses and children were seated in a seperate hall - called the Palomino. We arrived in the Round-up Centre at 12:30pm. Faizal seated me in the Palomino room which had a buffet lunch going and then took Alif and headed for the Darbar Hall. It was nice to see this lunch going on but not so nice when Faizal and Alif left leaving me in the
midst of strangers. I didn't like this separation. Infact I never quite liked the separation when Faizal gets to take Alif to their Jamatkhana and I am never allowed being a non-Ismaili. They say you can always convert and then go. But then I'll be lying to myself and the rest of the Ismailis if I convert because converting means pledging ledgions to the Aga Khan and he becomes your sole guidance for all religious matters. I think the Quran and Allah Himself suffices for all my spiritual guidance, for now.
Anyways, back to Monday's events. The waiting in the Palomino room got a bit comfortable when I saw one familiar face - a relative of my in-laws. She decided to stay in her Cuban spouse becasue he was brand new in Calgary and to their community. We struck a conversation which somehow got other non-Ismaili spouses involved and before we knew it we were chatting for quite a while. However you can only talk for so long! We had to wait there till
7pm (almost 7 hrs)! The waiting at the end was hard because we had to be quiet and the doors were shut closed because anytime he would be passing our hall and walking down the red carpet to his Darbar Hall. So were did the quiet thing from 4:30pm to 6pm. And then finally around 7:15 - we were told that he will be meeting us - the non-Ismaili spouses on his way out. This excited most of us. Like who wouldn't be - we are meeting royalty - don't get to do this everyday! But little did I know the meeting would be so deep.
We were all escorted to stand beside this long shiny red carpet. We were grouped very closely together so that they can fit all of us on one side of the carpet. This was hard since we are not use to standing so close to each other. And we did this standing for another half hour. And then His Highness finally entered the hallway. He seemed to stop and talk to people in clusters. It seemed like forever for him to finally arrive at our
group. But then he finally did. He came and said he was very happy to see us. He said to to our group focus on the similarities between our religion because we all have the same basic Ethics. He tlked for about a minute and then noded to see if we understaood him. That's when I interjected. I told him about the plight of the non-Ismaili spouse. I told him how hard it is to cope with your feelings when it is Friday or Saturday nite and your husband takes hismself and your baby away from you to a place where you are not allowed, not invited, not wanted. Because in his place of worship - you are not allowed. I told him the dynamics that play in people's family in this situation has no positive turn and that he should do something to accomodate us in this situation. He told me that he understands the delimma and that it is difficulty for him to accomodate Sunni's in his Jamatkhana because they don't believe in the Imamat. I told him he should feel confident
because his work has touched people of all culture and religion and that a lot of Sunni's have respect for him except for a few. Our conversation continued. I was completely moved and shocked by him speding almost 12 minutes talking to mostly me in that group. When he saw me almost teary eyed with emotions, he stroked my right hand and comforted me and told me about a surah from the Quran which talks about the unity of human kind and how how God created us all from a single soul and from thine he created it's mate..... To top it all off - the Aga Khan asked his assistant to take down my name and number! And the guy did! Infact his assistant asked about my whole history, geography of who I am and where I'm from etc etc...
Don't know if I'll ever get a call from him - but this experience was unique enough for me to take some time off and write this note!
BTW, I heard they had lots of food and dancing for the post celebrations that nite but I
was too exhausted and so was Alif â€" so we went home without the Biryani and the Dandia dances â€" but still stangely satisfied and quietly happy.
Saima
Diary of a non-Ismaili Spouse:
Hi Saima,
Its good that u shared ur experience but i just wanna ask one thing..
after reading ur complete message I could extract the following:
"He told me that he understands the delimma and that it is difficulty for him to accomodate Sunni's in his Jamatkhana because they don't believe in the Imamat".
My question is that there will be lot of non-ismaili spouses from different religions, faiths and beleifs...but when Prince karim Aga khan was talking to you , he pointed out u as sunni.. did u ever tell him that u belong to sunni faith??
Its good that u shared ur experience but i just wanna ask one thing..
after reading ur complete message I could extract the following:
"He told me that he understands the delimma and that it is difficulty for him to accomodate Sunni's in his Jamatkhana because they don't believe in the Imamat".
My question is that there will be lot of non-ismaili spouses from different religions, faiths and beleifs...but when Prince karim Aga khan was talking to you , he pointed out u as sunni.. did u ever tell him that u belong to sunni faith??
First of all i know this Samia person. She very well knows or has very good understanding of our tariqah because her Husband is an Ismaili. I am very curious to know on why she would actually ask Hazar Imam a question when she already knew the answer too? I guess some people will do anything to get a little attention 
Edit: Hey Danny, i don't think Samia is on this forum...So the chances of you getting an answer from her is highly unlikely. But yes, she is a sunni.
Edit: Hey Danny, i don't think Samia is on this forum...So the chances of you getting an answer from her is highly unlikely. But yes, she is a sunni.
ya ali madad All.................Its so typical of us to jump to conclusions.....but belive me it might be a little bit of getting extra attention ....I was there and one of the first one to congratulate her,yes she has been critical about beliving imam as we belive in him but the effect was tremendous she just kept on uttering ...He answerd all my quetions . Like we do after passing from memani just that we are not brave enough to ask or look at him and talk.I think she was brave enough to have talked,why can t you take the letter as a positive sign...and belive me all along the Imam kept on saying we can work together....sadly ,the way we ismailies behave ....He will be working more with em then us....,.one more thing,the imam has asked us to build bridges,but us being us .... we do otherwise.............he has to come down and do our work.....heartbreaking
[quote="aknak"] we are not brave enough to ask or look at him and talk.I think she was brave enough to have talked,[quote="aknak"]
Because she doesn't look at Hazar Imam like we do. We Ismaili's look at our Imam as the Noor of Allah Manifested in him. She doesn't. So, how does that make her brave? She said she has issue's with her Husband and her little Son leaving her to go to Jamat Khane. Did she not know when she married her Ismaili Husband that he was going to pratice his faith?
Because she doesn't look at Hazar Imam like we do. We Ismaili's look at our Imam as the Noor of Allah Manifested in him. She doesn't. So, how does that make her brave? She said she has issue's with her Husband and her little Son leaving her to go to Jamat Khane. Did she not know when she married her Ismaili Husband that he was going to pratice his faith?
hey guys , why we are criticizing..
I really appreciate the letter saima wrote on this forum...we should be proud of ourselves...our imam is for the whole mankind and not jus for ismailies..y do u guyz forget that MHI to other ppl is just human being....
dont u know that our jamati members always have one to one meeting with mowlana hazir imam , so does it means that they are brave or they have courage to speak in front of MHI? there have been thousands of times when MHI is being interviewed by so man journalist so does it means that those journalists are brave???excuse me, but if you'll get a chance to speak to MHI outside JK , trust me you will be able to do it with great ease...cant u guyz see the noor MHI posses in jk???so if u are unable to speak in front of MHI, thats only coz of noor.
However the ques i asked saima is just because i wanted to know ,did saima tell MHI that she is sunni or otherwise she may get my point that MHI knows everything...and who knows if mowla bless her she may accept ismailism....
my humble request to all of you please dont criticize anybody..
I really appreciate the letter saima wrote on this forum...we should be proud of ourselves...our imam is for the whole mankind and not jus for ismailies..y do u guyz forget that MHI to other ppl is just human being....
dont u know that our jamati members always have one to one meeting with mowlana hazir imam , so does it means that they are brave or they have courage to speak in front of MHI? there have been thousands of times when MHI is being interviewed by so man journalist so does it means that those journalists are brave???excuse me, but if you'll get a chance to speak to MHI outside JK , trust me you will be able to do it with great ease...cant u guyz see the noor MHI posses in jk???so if u are unable to speak in front of MHI, thats only coz of noor.
However the ques i asked saima is just because i wanted to know ,did saima tell MHI that she is sunni or otherwise she may get my point that MHI knows everything...and who knows if mowla bless her she may accept ismailism....
my humble request to all of you please dont criticize anybody..
-
[email protected]
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2006 1:20 am
Good job Samia
There are not very many times where I disagree with everything being said. 
Please forgive me, and endure this post. 
First of all, of course she was nervous and of course she was brave. She does not think of MHI as the holder of the Nur, but she does think of him as "Royalty" (as quoted from her diary) and from the amount of things her husband used to say about the MHI, she must have been in physical (not spiritual) awe, especially if she respects our Imam as well.
So I understand it would have taken much more courage and brevity to have a murid ask these questions point blank, but she was also courageous enough to talk to 'Royalty'. (similar to the case that if we had the Dalai Lama next to us and if we asked the Dalai Lama direct questions, this would take courage)
Journalists would act in a completely different way from average human beings when put in that scenario, because they are employed to ask point blank questions to various impressive authority figures, where as average human beings probably wouldn't have the courage to ask those sort of questions to prime ministers on a one-on-one basis.
Secondly, we don't have a right to preach to her. Both Sultan Muhammad Shah and our current MHI have told us to let other people follow their own path, and to just explain to them what Ismailism is... and she knows about our tariqah from her family. Both Imams have said that ours is a tariqah that leads to Sirat-al-Mustaqueem - this doesn't mean that her own practicing of her religion won't lead her down the 'Right Path' as well. The Ummah is diverse, but this pluralism is a strength not a weakness, and we shouldn't get frustrated when others aren't converting towards Ismailism.
Third of all, when couples marry, many of them don't understand or fully appreciate what will happen later - because they have never been married before. That is completely understandable, and completely human.... she doesn't deserve any lessening in respect because of that.
I applaud Samia for being so honest as to come up with a Diary, and I certainly appreciate that a Sunni and our MHI could get along.
AsadAllah, please pass those messages to Samia if you can.
Thanks,
S.
Please forgive me, and endure this post. First of all, of course she was nervous and of course she was brave. She does not think of MHI as the holder of the Nur, but she does think of him as "Royalty" (as quoted from her diary) and from the amount of things her husband used to say about the MHI, she must have been in physical (not spiritual) awe, especially if she respects our Imam as well.
So I understand it would have taken much more courage and brevity to have a murid ask these questions point blank, but she was also courageous enough to talk to 'Royalty'. (similar to the case that if we had the Dalai Lama next to us and if we asked the Dalai Lama direct questions, this would take courage)
Journalists would act in a completely different way from average human beings when put in that scenario, because they are employed to ask point blank questions to various impressive authority figures, where as average human beings probably wouldn't have the courage to ask those sort of questions to prime ministers on a one-on-one basis.
Secondly, we don't have a right to preach to her. Both Sultan Muhammad Shah and our current MHI have told us to let other people follow their own path, and to just explain to them what Ismailism is... and she knows about our tariqah from her family. Both Imams have said that ours is a tariqah that leads to Sirat-al-Mustaqueem - this doesn't mean that her own practicing of her religion won't lead her down the 'Right Path' as well. The Ummah is diverse, but this pluralism is a strength not a weakness, and we shouldn't get frustrated when others aren't converting towards Ismailism.
Third of all, when couples marry, many of them don't understand or fully appreciate what will happen later - because they have never been married before. That is completely understandable, and completely human.... she doesn't deserve any lessening in respect because of that.
I applaud Samia for being so honest as to come up with a Diary, and I certainly appreciate that a Sunni and our MHI could get along.
AsadAllah, please pass those messages to Samia if you can.
Thanks,
S.
-
SaminaNurali
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Tue Dec 23, 2008 1:55 am
- Location: Karachi, Pakistan
TRUST
Dear Saima,
Like you i m a non Ismaili as well but Accept MHI as my Imam with proper Faith and i hoppe i get a chance to convert Ismaili.
Beside everything, if you read Holy Quran, please go to Sura Ma'eda - Sura 5 Ayat 67, this Ayat says
BISMIL-LAHIR-RAHMANIR-RAHIM.
YA AY-YUHAR-RASULU BAL-LIGH. MA UNZILA
ILAYKA MIR-RAB-BIK; WA IL-LAM TAF'AL, FAMA
BAL-LAGHTA RISALATAHU, WAL-LAHU YA'SIMUKA
MINAN-NAS.
In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most
Merciful.
O Apostle, deliver (to the people), what has been
revealed to thee from thy Lord; and if thou did not do
so, then thou hast not delivered His Message, and Allah
will protect thee from the people.
Everyone know that this Ayat was revealed ON Holy Prophet PBUH on the day of his last Hajj/Pilgrimage.
and then you need to read Sura Yaseen - Sura 36 Ayat 12 and read it properly. the ayat says
BISMIL-LAHIR-RAHMANIR-RAHIM.
WA KUL- LA SHAY-IN AHSAYNAHU FI IMAMlM-MUBIN.
"And We have vested (the knowledge and authority
of) everything in the manifest Imam."
Once you are done with these two and understand you can always ask me why i requested you to go through these two Ayats.
Like you i m a non Ismaili as well but Accept MHI as my Imam with proper Faith and i hoppe i get a chance to convert Ismaili.
Beside everything, if you read Holy Quran, please go to Sura Ma'eda - Sura 5 Ayat 67, this Ayat says
BISMIL-LAHIR-RAHMANIR-RAHIM.
YA AY-YUHAR-RASULU BAL-LIGH. MA UNZILA
ILAYKA MIR-RAB-BIK; WA IL-LAM TAF'AL, FAMA
BAL-LAGHTA RISALATAHU, WAL-LAHU YA'SIMUKA
MINAN-NAS.
In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most
Merciful.
O Apostle, deliver (to the people), what has been
revealed to thee from thy Lord; and if thou did not do
so, then thou hast not delivered His Message, and Allah
will protect thee from the people.
Everyone know that this Ayat was revealed ON Holy Prophet PBUH on the day of his last Hajj/Pilgrimage.
and then you need to read Sura Yaseen - Sura 36 Ayat 12 and read it properly. the ayat says
BISMIL-LAHIR-RAHMANIR-RAHIM.
WA KUL- LA SHAY-IN AHSAYNAHU FI IMAMlM-MUBIN.
"And We have vested (the knowledge and authority
of) everything in the manifest Imam."
Once you are done with these two and understand you can always ask me why i requested you to go through these two Ayats.
Ya Ali Jeewan Tere Laal Well it is strange to know that many of you didnt understand saima's feelings. She is not Ismaili, but she is lucky and blessed. I do not wanna explain it but hope you all would understand it. once i was not allowed for deedar of Hazrat Ji, I had the pass but at the entrance some people asked me to say dua, i was going 1st time to deedar. i am not an ismaili but i go to jamatkhana, now many of you gonna have issue with me like why do i go n how am i allowed.....blah di blah di blah. I know many of ismaili bros get angry at me..... well back to deedar point, i was rejected came back home without having the Deedar, i was so upset and been crying. i came back home, was upset and slept. I can not tell you what i have seen in my dreams, because what i have seen mostly ismaili can only dream about it. I make it short here i had the best Deedar. How lucky i am that my ishq with Hazrat Ji was killing me more, I have spoken to someone( do not wanna mention the name for certain reasons) and that someone managed the great moment for me. I had another deedar in real when Hazrat Ji was invited for tea at somewhere( cant mention the place) it wasnt only deedar but i had the chance to kiss the hazrat ji's blessed hand, and had the blessings. The beautiful moment was , when i saw the most beautiful smile on hazrat ji's face mubarak. I had the courage and chanceHazrat Ji, haiiiiiiiiii haiiiiiiiiii ishq but i just want to have a pure look at the nooori face. Someone said something above that ismaili cant Look at Hazrat Ji's Face mubarak. Helllllloooo my ishq says my passion says if i'll ever have the chance i can look at him for my whole life wont close my eyes for a single moment..... people should stop being maulvis of ismailism, because ismailism doesnt have maulvis...those dnt like story of saima and me as im not ismaili.Let me tell you.Hazrat Shah Karim is noor and noor cant be for only a group of people. bless you all
-
haroon_adel
- Posts: 125
- Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2008 8:55 am
- Location: USA
I guess the reason why it's "advised" not to look straight at MHI is because if one does not have strong belief, his belief might become even weaker, by comparing/considering MHI as another human being as non-ismailies do. However, if you have strong believe, this should not even bother your thaughts.
Consider the following analogy: mankind benifits from the sun, especially from the light "Noor" of sun. Similarly, we should try to benifit from MHI's "Noor" which is his Farmans, I believe. If you look at the sun directly with your bare eyes, you might get blind and might never be able to "see" again. Similarly, if you look at MHI and have very weak believe "Imaan" then you might start comparing MHI with other human beings.
I guess that's why some "advise" not to look at MHI straigh. Besides, when we go to any Didaar, it's "Zahiri" Didaar, we should pray so that we can do "Batini" Didar at those unique ocasions.
Consider the following analogy: mankind benifits from the sun, especially from the light "Noor" of sun. Similarly, we should try to benifit from MHI's "Noor" which is his Farmans, I believe. If you look at the sun directly with your bare eyes, you might get blind and might never be able to "see" again. Similarly, if you look at MHI and have very weak believe "Imaan" then you might start comparing MHI with other human beings.
I guess that's why some "advise" not to look at MHI straigh. Besides, when we go to any Didaar, it's "Zahiri" Didaar, we should pray so that we can do "Batini" Didar at those unique ocasions.
No known programs for non ismaili spouses to see MHI
So MHI is in USA for 'Mulaqat'. While there are big communications about a 'lounge area' for non-ismaili spouses (like that is a big deal), there are no known programs for non-ismaili spouses to even see MHI, forget talking or interacting.
I mean to be very polite as I know some really awesome people in my family (wife's side) who are Ismailis and MHI means the world to them. But I don't understand how this kind of stuff can happen and can be considered 'normal'?
I spoke with the Volunteers, the Call center folks and everyone says "there are no provisions for MHI to see non ismaili spouses but if he feels like, he may see or meet them".
To put it mildly -- this is not reasonable and should not be acceptable to anyone.
I wanted to know what others on this forum think about this.
I mean to be very polite as I know some really awesome people in my family (wife's side) who are Ismailis and MHI means the world to them. But I don't understand how this kind of stuff can happen and can be considered 'normal'?
I spoke with the Volunteers, the Call center folks and everyone says "there are no provisions for MHI to see non ismaili spouses but if he feels like, he may see or meet them".
To put it mildly -- this is not reasonable and should not be acceptable to anyone.
I wanted to know what others on this forum think about this.
In Toronto last Deedar, non-Ismaili spouses were in line when MHI went to his car, he stopped and discussed with some of them.
The same happened in London but in the movie we could see that some from the leadership were trying to rush the Imam and not let him take his time to talk to whoever he was talking.
It was apparent that the Imam was annoyed by the behaviour of his leaders and wanted to spend more time with the non-Ismaili spouses.. So do not be disheartend by the doings of some.
The same happened in London but in the movie we could see that some from the leadership were trying to rush the Imam and not let him take his time to talk to whoever he was talking.
It was apparent that the Imam was annoyed by the behaviour of his leaders and wanted to spend more time with the non-Ismaili spouses.. So do not be disheartend by the doings of some.
It's hard to not be disheartened. I am married for 9 years now and I know all these awesome people for a long time. But there are certain things that can only be considered humiliating.
Like no provision to even see the MHI for an event that is considered the biggest event for so many people in my family.
Like I can't even stand outside the Dua hall while dua, because the door is open! I have to go to another distant room and close the door!
MHI and the leaders of the Ismaili sect (mukhis, heads of REC etc) cannot shy away from taking ownership of this big flaw. They cannot simply say "the rules are difficult to change". That is the uniqueness about Ismailism
I am being very soft-spoken here ... again because of the awesome folks in my family ... but I think this is now a deal breaker for me for respecting Ismailism.
Like no provision to even see the MHI for an event that is considered the biggest event for so many people in my family.
Like I can't even stand outside the Dua hall while dua, because the door is open! I have to go to another distant room and close the door!
MHI and the leaders of the Ismaili sect (mukhis, heads of REC etc) cannot shy away from taking ownership of this big flaw. They cannot simply say "the rules are difficult to change". That is the uniqueness about Ismailism
I am being very soft-spoken here ... again because of the awesome folks in my family ... but I think this is now a deal breaker for me for respecting Ismailism.
I am sorry for the way you feel. Even we ismailis are sometimes discarded by some of our leaders during these event because as in all religions some people are rotten and lack generosity.
The fact that some people are rotten and bureaucratic should not be associated to the religion but to human nature which says tht given the opportunity, people will abuse of their position.
The fact that some people are rotten and bureaucratic should not be associated to the religion but to human nature which says tht given the opportunity, people will abuse of their position.
Re: No known programs for non ismaili spouses to see MHI
Rahul sorry you feel like that. I think that the leaders have failed to inform you the significance of a mulaqat verses a darbar. Mulaqats are extremely personal and for the murids only. Remember back in 2008 when mowla was in atlanta he only spent 1 day with the jamat and no religious cermonies were taking place. It should be noted that mowla at that time was in atlanta for 4 days! his other days were taken by goverment visit. That was not the case this time around. mowla spentfour days with us. in these four days he did various ceremonies and it took all day to do the ceremonies. very tiring for some one at the age of 82.rahulnc wrote:So MHI is in USA for 'Mulaqat'. While there are big communications about a 'lounge area' for non-ismaili spouses (like that is a big deal), there are no known programs for non-ismaili spouses to even see MHI, forget talking or interacting.
I mean to be very polite as I know some really awesome people in my family (wife's side) who are Ismailis and MHI means the world to them. But I don't understand how this kind of stuff can happen and can be considered 'normal'?
I spoke with the Volunteers, the Call center folks and everyone says "there are no provisions for MHI to see non ismaili spouses but if he feels like, he may see or meet them".
To put it mildly -- this is not reasonable and should not be acceptable to anyone.
I wanted to know what others on this forum think about this.