Dealing with Anger in Relationships

[KOOSHISH]

Dealing with Anger in Relationships
By: Sohail Zindani

Everyone gets angry. Some people show it openly and others don't. If you are one of those people who claim you don't get angry- you're either not in touch with your emotions or you are lying.

In relationship, Anger can be either healthy or unhealthy. Anger is just an emotion. How you process it is what determines whether it becomes a tool for growth or a source of pain and destruction.
In this society anger is perceived as a negative emotion. If you are a person who expresses anger, society would tell you that you are someone who can't control your emotions and can't control your behavior. Most of us suppress anger and deny it exists until it rears its ugly head.

All emotional feelings are signals that there is something in your life that needs to be dealt with and anger is one of those emotions. When anger comes up, it is a signal that something in your life is out of balance and incongruent with how you believe your world should be. When anger comes up in our relationship, we want to get to the root of the problem and find out whats really going on. What we have to do is to open up a dialog and just allow the person who is angry to express how and why. When you are angry, you need to take responsibility for it and not project it onto someone else.

The partner's job is to listen in a detached, non-judgmental way. If this sounds like a lot of work, you'e right. This process takes trust and practice but the reward is a relationship, which is free of resentments.

Reacting quickly and honestly to angry emotions bypasses the tendency of periodic explosions and tends to "clear the air" much like a spring rain. When you defuse anger, you'll be able to bring back the connection and love that you've lost in that moment. So don't run away from angry feelings as that it is safe to express them when they appear.
The lesson we learned is that a foundation of safety and trust in the relationship must be present to express or listen to anger from love instead of fear.
Love You ALL

[Guest]

I guess you are a relationship consultant or a kind of a champion in reading realationship and its terms

[Guest]

hello Mr Zindani,
your articles states that you are really good with matters of relationship.
I conduct various seminars within our jamat. I would simply love to have your services. Ill mail in you with all the details of our activities so as u can make your self avalible.

[Guest]

Hey Sohail,
can u rite a bit abt Ego n Faith
ill b looking forward 4 it

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